Scott's Self-Indulgent Movie Review Blog

Gauntlet Review 244: In Time

2012-02-06T23:09:00.004-05:00

Justin Timberlake has made an interesting career transition. At first he was loathed as the lead singer of a boy band. Then he turned everything around by putting out catchy solo work with Timbaland and a bunch of hilarious turns on SNL. Now he's an actor....not the first to do so but he's avoided mostly dramatic roles....until now. Will this give me an opportunity to irrationally hate him or does the movie measure up?

It's the future. Human's don't age past twenty five. Unfortunately the trade off is your "time" is now the currency. Imagine three minutes for a cup of coffee etc. Will Salas is your typically citizen living day to day and praying to make enough to literally live another day. But he's not pleased with the system and he wants to make sure everyone can live as long as they wish.

This kind of movie is a chore to watch and a joy to review. Because there's almost nothing of value. Genre wise it's a wishy-washy mix of science-fiction and action. Sadly their version of "the future" features different clothing styles and cars that aren't that different from today's cars. Likewise, the technology all seems like today's technology except for the glowing clocks on people's arms.

You can certainly have sci-fi without being in space but here it was very clear that I was seeing portions of L.A. I've seen in countless other movies. I literally thought "oh hey that's where they race Greased Lightening." I can understand if it's the future but if it's all taking place in California just say it's Calirfornia. Instead they made it look like this all was taking place on an island nation divided into a couple of sectors or "Time Zones".

Also, per usual I will also complain about unoriginal action. There's a couple of shootouts but no actual gun battles. There's a heist but it's pretty much a joke. There's also a couple of car chases that are just as unexciting as three to four generic foot chases. There needs to be leaps across ledges something that makes it more interesting than watching someone run.

Oh and if you promise me a "fight" and then it turns out to be the equivalent of an arm wrestling match you will make me angry. Guaranteed.

There's also a lot of wasted talent on-screen including Timberlake, personal favorite Cilian Murphy (who really needs another good American movie role), and Amanda Seyfried. It's really a nice display of young Hollywood talent and they give them nothing good to say or do.

What's saddest about this movie is that I really liked the concept. Instead of a great insight into modern capitalist values/society we have a futuristic Bonnie and Clyde wanna-be. Everything about this movie is a waste, especially if you spent money on this. Avoid this before you get really angry like me.

Gauntlet Review 243: Ricochet

2012-02-06T22:35:00.003-05:00

Remember when Ice-T was a gangsta rapper and didn't hunt down sexual criminals on Law and Order: SVU? Well right around that time Denzel Washington was still the hot new thing fresh off his first Oscar win for Glory. Thankfully their two paths meet in the HBO film Ricochet. Ok I picked this up for $2.50 and I was curious because it had Denzel as a good guy, John Lightgow as a bad guy, and Ice-T as his rapper persona.

Our story follows Nick Styles (Washington), a hotshot young cop whose heroic actions spoil Edward Talbot Blake's (Lithgow) entrance into "the big time" criminal world. Now wounded and eager for vengeance Blake begins planning a detailed revenge on Styles that will test his sanity and morality.

I'll be honest. This movie is all over the place. At some points it feels like an over the top action flick, other times it feels like we're following a revenge thriller, and then add in elements of melodrama.

My action movie brain weeps a bit for what could have been because there are a couple of very competent action scenes. Sadly, even these scenes are difficult to enjoy because they feature the villain. This sets up the sad "I know we don't want him to kill everyone but he's going to so I'll try to enjoy this but I can't because I really just want him to be set on fire" situation.

It's also abundantly clear when they decided to spend a ton of money on a particular set piece because they show it from twelve different angles over and over again. Not sure if this is just a dated technique (since most of the movie is pretty dated), but future directors there's no reason to show us an explosion from five different angles unless it shows us something different.

Thankfully the cast is surprisingly stacked with competence. Denzel Washington has played a similar role of a good man being accused of bad things about five times since this movie and his swagger in undeniable. Likewise, Lithgow makes the most out of some ridiculous dialogue and all will harken Dexter fans to his Trinity killer days.

Even impressionist Kevin Pollack shows up as Washingtons partner and of course Ice-T plays a local gangster perfectly.

Now I'm fairly certain this isn't a movie to be taken seriously for a number of reasons but the biggest one shows up about a third of the way into the movie.

*spoilers coming*

Once Blake is in prison he makes nice with his new roommate by beating him senseless and taking his bunk. Considering that the bunkmate is a white supremacist, (why is every Hollywood prison divided into black folks, latinos, asian gangs, and white supremacists) his gang decides this needs to be solved.

With a good old fashioned, gladiator battle with armor and giant metal weapons in the cafeteria. Since apparently no one is watching......it really has no purpose other than to throw in a gladiator type fight scene.

Needless to say everything about this movie is over the top but it's not bad for a once go round. Just do NOT take it seriously. Not even at the beginning when it seems like a normal movie because it's on the rails to crazy town.

Gauntlet Review 242: Under Siege

2012-01-24T16:06:00.003-05:00

Considering that action movies (good and bad) are easily my favorite genre, it may blow your mind to here I've never seen a Steven Seagal movie. Not something with him in it cause Executive Decision and Machete both featured him. I'm talking he's the main guy and bad ass number one. How did this happen? Never been impressed with him. He always seemed like a joke to me with his ridiculous long hair and his recent mistreatment of women and straight to DVD movies have no helped. So I decided why not give a better reviewed movie a chance. Enter Under Siege.

Dubbed as Die Hard on a battleship, Seagal stars as Navy cook Casey Ryback. On the eve of their ship's retirement the boys in blue are getting a grade a send off with a band and a playboy playmate. But things take a turn when the ship is taken over and the massive arsenal is now at the disposal of a number of mentally unstable villains. Of course what they didn't plan on is Ryback who happens to be more than just a cook. Now it's up to him to prevent the ship from being stolen while keeping the crewmen alive.

Now as an outsider to the world of Steven Seagal this was better than I expected. The action is certainly the old nineties style but there's still some style and martial arts built in. There's also a nice variety between explosions, gunfights and hand to hand combat to prevent monotony.

Seagal's acting isn't anything to write home about but he's only got one setting so you gotta roll with it. Rounding out the cast are Tommy Lee Jones who is blissfully over the top and Gary Busey acting like his Mr. Joshua role on crack (or just being Gary Busey take your pick).

That being said, there's plenty that makes no sense. The villains in numerous circumstances decide to use James Bond logic of setting up a death trap for their hostages rather than threatening to execute people unless Ryback shows his face. The female lead is obligatory and fulfills every action movie stereotype for the "girl".

There's also a startling number of plot holes involving the C.I.A. who seem content to blame Ryback when things are going terribly when they're not even in charge of the situation.

But plot holes and stereotypes are nothing new to action movies let's measure this by Die Hard standards

Hero: McClane's appeal is that he's an everyman. Sure he's a cop but he's not a trained assassin. Here the big element of surprise is the fact that Seagal's character is an assassin by trade and plans rather than making it up as he goes. It's a wash really the characters are just too vastly different aside from their distrust of authority. Also Seagal never looks imposing aside from his height. He's kinda lanky in this movie.

Villain: The two villains in this movie are too animated compared to Hans Gruber calculated malice. Not to mention that the villain's are never fully explained.

Action: Under Siege has some nice moments and a pretty good final fight but Die Hard is full of signature over the top moments like jumping off a skyscraper. Under Siege is an imitator but still a competent imitator.

Girl: Under Siege gets points for flair because the girl in question looks like a playmate and gets into the action. However Holly McClane wins for being bearable and somewhat intelligent.

So it's a Die Hard knockoff. But it's still competent and not a bad way for an action junkie to spend 90 minutes. Rent or Netflix it if you get the chance. Buy only if excessively cheap or if you've seen it already.

Gauntlet Review 241: Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows

2012-01-12T22:51:00.004-05:00

Robert Downey Jr. hasn't missed since his full recovery from addiction. And aside from his dead-on portrayal of Tony Stark Downey has taken on the most famous detective of all time Sherlock Holmes. The first film was a worldwide smash and gathered plenty of critical acclaim. So with the budget amped up an almost identical cast, Guy Ritchie at the helm and Holmes' famous nemesis Moriarty rocking the boat. This is a guaranteed winner correct? Let's find out.

Taking place a number of months after our first adventure, Holmes is deeply involved in uncovering the criminal mastermind Professor Moriarty. With his friend Watson at his side and his sanity in question Holmes attempts to take on a mind that mirrors his own brilliance. As he continues to search for the mad sociopath Holmes quickly realizes that his foe intends to ignite world war.

Now like the first one if you're a Holmes purist/snob you're gonna get mad at this movie. It still plays like an action flick and Guy Ritchie's visual style feels very modern rather than a period piece. So instead of going with all of that I'm going to focus on if this measures up to the first film.

Improvements: The action sequences are a bit crisper and a general lack of hulking he men that can't be defeated is welcome. Also having an equal (or at least a challenge) is never a bad thing and Moriarty is certainly the way to do it. Rachel Mcadams is in the film but she's not in it long enough to stick out like a sore thumb. Trading her for Holmes brother played by Stephen Fry is a plus. There's also more explosions this time around for those of you who need that sort of thing. Something that might seem silly to be happy about is a lack of obvious CGI that showed up a couple of times in the first movie. Bad CGI nowadays sticks out horribly.

Highlight: They were more than willing to make fun of the things they used in the first movie.

The Same: The visual style, the cast, and the sense of humor are all still intact. The plotline also plays out in a similar fashion with minor mysteries being solved in Holmes mind with the big one being solved at the very end. And in one of my favorite elements of the movie they have Holmes do the play by play of fights in his head before they happen. Law and Downey Jr. still have their banter tempo down to a tee and Downey Jr. is still aces as Holmes. I still wonder how they let an American get away with playing a truly British character but I'm all for it. James Bond next?

Highlight: There's a great sequence on the train that's filled with the humor and action that made the first one so much fun.

The Not as Good: The dialogue isn't as crisp this time and there's fewer hilarious moments than before. I also didn't like what seemed to be an excessive usage of firearms. Quickly disarming an opponent and through the gun to Watson to fire at one person is great but this movie had a focus on machine guns and grenades that didn't quite make sense. There's also a major loose end that's never addressed and unless they're bringing him in the sequel they should have cleared that up. Sadly the pacing is also slower than before which is a shame because the last one was a little slow as well.

Personal Commentary: I understand Guy Ritchie loves making us feel like we're in the middle of an adrenaline rush from time to time with his slow mo and quick pans and ramping effects, but on a giant theater it almost hurts the mind and ears. It is possible, however, that the effect will be lessen on a TV perhaps.

Verdict: Still entertaining. Everything that you would like in the first movie is back on display it's just not as fresh as before. Think of it like Iron Man 2. A couple of good additions but not as good as the original. See it in theaters if you loved the first. Stay away from it if you hated the first one.

Gauntlet Review 240: Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol

2012-01-11T12:00:00.002-05:00

Well it seems like things have calmed down in Tom Cruise world. After a string of disappointing films and revealing himself to be a first class loon, Cruise now re-enters the familiar shoes of Ethan Hunt in the newest Mission Impossible film. Of course there were questions going in. Could they could still bring action movie magic considering the decreased market value of Cruise, a director of animated films (Brad Bird), and a lack of big name side talent? But with J.J. Abrahams still on the production team, great trailers and personal favorites Jeremy Renner & Simon Pegg aboard I was set for a holiday thrill-ride.

Taking place years after our last impossible mission, Ethan Hunt is in prison for some undisclosed reason and brought back into the field to find a madman bent on nuclear destruction. However due to circumstances beyond their control Hunt and his team are forced to conduct the operation outside of the law and outside of their own government. With no backup Hunt and his team work to prevent the mad nuclear genius from accomplishing his goal.

So since I did enjoy this movie thoroughly let's get the complaints out of the way. The villain is horribly characterized. I mean the latest Call of Duty game offered more back story, which is truly saying something. They try to throw in a little bit of information about him here or there but you really get the impression that he should've been institutionalized by someone long before he got the chance to blow up the world. (Shout out to Ben and Nick for this observation)

The only other major complaint I have wasthe biggest action moments are all over the trailer. Certainly not unexpected but it never ceases to irritate.

Aside from these complaints, the movie moves along like a well oiled machine. Cruise is on old school Tom Cruise autopilot which is a good thing in case there was any confusion. They also avoid any overblown dramatic monologues or emotional displays which prevents us from going oh yeah he's the guy that jumped on Oprah's couch.

Likewise the supporting cast is strong with a typically reliably comic performance from Simon Pegg, another great turn by Jeremy Renner (who looks primed for his new Bourne role), and Paulo Patton smolders like a true action heroine. Oh yeah and Sawyer from Lost shows up which was kinda weird.

One thing that made this entry into the series noteworthy was its sarcastic sense of humor. In the first couple of films when Ethan's had to do something stupid there was always a sense of heightened drama like a wife held hostage or I don't want to hurt innocent people. Here they say you've got to scale this building. Why? Well it's the only way....*shrug* sorry. It's a wonderfully human reaction oh really I have to do what?

It's also noteworthy that most of this movie seems somewhat plausible even from a technology standpoint. There's a couple of exceptions of course but they didn't pull out any major James Bond type gadgets and say oh yeah hover pants or something.

Oh and the action is top notch. No major shootouts like our last venue but there's plenty of fun hand to hand combat including a fight between two woman that almost avoids the stereotypes, and as I mentioned Jeremy Renner looking a lot like Bourne.

Recommendation: If you're an action fan check it out in theaters but if you're looking for plot see something else.

Gauntlet Review 239: District B13 Retrospective

2011-12-12T22:52:00.003-05:00

Saying that you like French film is usually a snooty comment you might make it you're on a first date and trying to impress a cultured date or worse a hipster. That is of course unless you're like me and merely like Luc Besson's movies/productions. In case you weren't aware Besson is responsible for getting Jean Reno to America and directed The Fifth Element and Leon: The Professional. Unlike his arty counterparts Luc Besson has a jones for action flicks and recently has been propping up martial artists. So with simple plots, the director of Taken, and the use of parkour away we go.

It's near the future in Paris and apparently things haven't gone well. Apparently poverty and crime have gotten so bad that its worst district B 13 has been walled off from the general public. This is really bad for Leito who is trying to get out with his sister after pissing off a drug dealer named Taha. Of course nothing goes accordingly to plan and Leito is imprisoned in Paris while his sister is left behind. On the other side of the coin we have Damien Tomaso, Paris' top cop who can lay the smack down on anyone around him. When he's assigned to stop a bomb located in B 13 he must join forces with Leito who is familiar with the area.

Now in terms of plot it's a bit thin considering the premise but I liked it because it almost felt like a martial arts apocalypse flick. Of course, like any foreign action flick the real question is how is the action. Hella impressive is the answer. Morel has fully embraced the parkour style and the actor playing Leito gives Jackie Chan a run for his money in terms of pure ridiculousness and physical feats. Likewise, french stuntman Cyril Raffaelli shows off his martial arts chops especially in his introduction where he flips, shoots, and beats down a mass of gangsters.

Sadly after the impressive openings for both characters the action takes a slide towards the end and fails to be as jaw dropping as the earlier scenes. Also on a sidenote, I'm really sick of seeing fast and agile heroes in martial arts movies come across the equivalent of ogres. I get it's a contrast in style but these fights never lend themselves to anything that's visually impressive. In fact, usually these fights end up feeling like comic relief.

The second movie has a very similar plot to the first except for the fact that this time the fight is taken to the government rather than the slums. Oh and they added the world Ultimatum to make all Jason Bourney for the American DVD buying crowd. Of course corrupt government abounds and is trying to take down Damien and Leito so the merry band joins together to fix what they tried to fix last time.

Once again we've got a decent display of parkour and martial arts on display but sadly this time around each character seems devoted to one or the other. In the first movie Leito appeared to be a fighting equal to Damien and now when the fights show up he just jumps around like a monkey. Likewise there's an extra focus on all these gang leaders fighting which is supposed to be cool but really just seemed like filler where Damien and Leito could be doing more fun stuff.

Sadly while taking the a different direction in a negative way with the combat they also maintain almost the exact same formula for the entire movie with relatively boring ending included. There's one fight that's hyped for half the movie and when it does happen it's one hit K.O. I nearly cursed out loud at that point.

All that being said this is probably because of the colossal expectations I had from the first movie. The first movie was a gem that I found literally in a sale bin in Blockbuster so paying something closer to full price for a new copy of District B-13: Ultimatum felt like a bit of a letdown. I'd almost watch the second one first to get a feeling for it and then go to the original to get your world rocked.

Sidenote: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER, cut out any part of a fight scene. Typically we won't notice thanks to editing but in a movie like this you'll never say hey that flying kick through a wooden table seemed unnecessary!

Verdict: Great for Jackie Chan fans and martial arts movie fans. It's up to your discretion if you want to try the first or second one first but don't you dare turn on the dubbing.

Gauntlet Review 238: Carlito's Way

2011-12-12T22:22:00.003-05:00

It's interesting how we treat our most epic actors. The transition seems to be breakout role, then the academy award worthy stuff. The final turn seems to come in the form of self-parody or where they've become so ingrained in the culture that we ourselves like to mock them. Al Pacino is an easy target with his affinity for strange accents and melodrama and both are quite present in Brian DePalma's flick, Carlito's Way. But does it overwhelm the movie or is this another vintage Pacino performance?

Carlito Brigante is a former hustler that has just gotten out of jail and game thanks to some brilliant maneuvering by his lawyer David Kleinfeld. Now back on the streets Brigante is getting pulled back into the life just when he thought he was out.... Throwing extra monkey wrenches into his whole deal is his desire to date his dancer ex-gf and his outdated sense of honor which binds him the an increasingly unstable Kleinfeld. Now Carlito begins a fight for his friends and his life.

First of all we need to address the stereotypes that are all over this movie such as Sean Penn sporting the biggest Jew-fro I've seen on screen and playing a guy named Kleinfeld ain't helpin. Likewise, Pacino's accent staggers on the line between authentic and tasteless though since Pacino apparently studied accents of the area it's probably closer to legit. However, this is counter by the fact that it sounds like Al Pacino doing the accent.

That's pretty much the extent of my complaints though. In fact in many ways it serves as a counter point to Scarface. I will personally never understand why gangster rappers hold this film in such high regard because it's really just a demonstration of the why excess of the eighties was a terrible thing. I always want to declare "You do know he ends up completely alone and gets a shotgun blast to the back right?!" In contrast, Carlito is a passionate man who has genuine interest in his girlfriend, his family, his friends, and is unquestionably loyal to them. This means that any sort of downfall and struggle is made all the more tragic because this only happens because he cares. Scarface deserved his fate and while Carlito is far from moral he's sympathetic enough to seem like he should have been able to have his nice life.

The acting is also quite strong and Pacino, while still perpetually himself, manages to keep things toned down unless he's actually angry. This is the Al Pacino that wowed in the first two Godfather movies because there's variety to his acting. Supporting we have Sean Penn who by casting alone made it easy to hate him and plays the spoiled rich kid in over his head a bit too well for his own good. I was also happy to see that DePalma and company didn't white wash the whole cast and feature Luis Guzman and John Leguizamo.

If you're expecting an action romp this isn't the place for you, but I will say I enjoyed the action set pieces is this movie. Even if some of them are just rehashes of things he's done before. Thought that we wouldn't notice that an escalator is a lot like the stairs from The Untouchables huh?

The end result is a movie that is unbalanced and sometimes hard to take seriously but nevertheless enjoyable.

Verdict: Die hard Pacino fans should get it to complete his accent collection. All others in the mood from a crime drama with a decent lead character check it out for rental.

Gauntlet Review 237: Tangled

2011-12-11T22:06:00.002-05:00

For most of my childhood Disney was in its heyday as an animation studio. The titles included gems such as The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, and the Oscar nominated Beauty and the Beast. The movie were known for great animation, simple but powerful stories and bombastic music that would be in your head for the next three weeks. Sadly this trend has gone by the wayside since Disney is in a love affair with Pixar and their last non-CGI film The Princess and Frog under performed. But now in an attempt to combine the two comes Tangled a movie that gives us songs, storytelling, and CGI animation.

In a variation on the Rapuzel tale, Rapuzael is a princess who, without her knowledge, was stolen away from her parents by an old hag that uses the girl's shining locks to keep herself young. With her 18th birthday approaching and a strict no leaving the house rule enforced by the old biddy, Rapuzel gets an opportunity to explore the world when a thief named Flynn ends up climbing up to her window. With an agreement struck the two head to see a lantern festival all the while outrunning the palace guards and FLynn's criminal partners.

Now I'm going to praise something that this movie does well because old Disney movies didn't seem to realize that making any aspect of the movie terrifying for young children is a bad thing. "Le Poisson" from the Little Mermaid comes to mind. Here there's excitement and danger but never any sort of otherwordly terror or tragedy that defines my favorite disney movies.

Also I was glad to see that Disney decided to learn from Pixar and picked out voice talent that matched the parts rather than just going for the biggest names on the block. Mandy Moore is great as the sweet and adventurous princess and Chuck's Zachary Levi shows he might have a knack for voice roles. It also helps that they picked people who can sing. The best voice belongs to Donna Murphy (our villainous old biddy) who belts out her songs with the bravado of a great Broadway actor.

I will say the music itself was, for the most part, a let down. Musically it was quite appealing but lyrically it all seemed a bit vapid. For instance, listing off all the activities Rapunzel does by day isn't half as exciting as her pleading to be free. This was a prime moment for a "Part of Your World" type song.

However I chalk this up to the Shrek influence. It's is all over this movie and that includes on the positive side a wonderfully sarcastic sense of humor (yay!) but also a lack of the epic drama that most disney films have (boo). Here the feeling is more cutesy and may feature great set pieces but there's no sense of epic struggle. Aladdin vs Jafar. Epic. Simba vs. Scar mega-epic. Here we lack a major showdown.

That's not to say that I dislike this movie at all. I really enjoyed it and may have watched it more than once.....or twice......ok I used it as background noise for awhile. However if you're looking for the bombast and glory of the something like even Mulan you're out of luck.

Verdict: A great family film with enough jokes to please parents and kids. Rent it if you're interested, buy it if you have kids.

Gauntlet Review 236: Bad Teacher

2011-12-11T21:40:00.003-05:00

Deeming myself as an educator and hoping to get a teaching job in the future it seems counter-intuitive that I would have any interest in someone crapping all over teachers images. But so help me I was interested in seeing Bad Teacher. Cameron Diaz has been running the PG-13 safe road of romantic comedies and sappy dramas for a good while now and I wanted to see her take a risk. And to have her living out what seemed to the kind of stuff you want to do but you know you'll get fired for seemed worth a Redbox rental. So let's see if she's got what it takes to pull this kind of role off.

Elizabeth (Diaz) finds herself in a predicament when her engagement is broken off and she now no longer has her sugar daddy fiance to pay the bills. Now stuck in a profession she had no intention of taking seriously Elizabeth aims to save enough money to get a boob-job and find herself another rich hubby. From there misadventures occur as Elizabeth clashes with a fellow teacher, attempts to woo another, and gets hit upon mercilessly by the gym teacher.

Now most reviewers gave this movie the cold shoulder stating that they either wanted it darker or funnier or something like that. I'm not going to give this movie a warm reception but I think there was a lot to like. The side characters turn in great performances such as Modern Family's Eric Stonestreet playing Elizabeth's oblivious roommate, Phylis from the Office as Elizabeth's teacher friend and Jason Segel as the affable gym teacher. Diaz also turns in a solid performance.

But then come the let downs. Most of the other cast irritated the hell out of me including Justin Timberlake. I actually don't think it's their fault so much as it is the writing. Timberlake's character for instance seems to be a conduit for all the worst kinds of sensitive guys that they hate or went to high school with or dated. Many of the characters don't come across as real people and it's quite distracting. For instance, a real person may write a sappy song. That same real person in unlikely to mention that they're making an effort to be nice to people of all races. Those are different people (typically)

The poor writing also makes for major gaps in the story and fails to give Elizabeth a proper character arc. For the most part she doesn't care about her students....at all....like she hates them. And then she warms for no particular reason. Since her primary motivation has been herself it seems unlikely that this one eighty would occur. What this movie really needed was a moment that would make Elizabeth care for the right reasons and then use her bad girl skills to help her kids in ways that a normal teacher couldn't and wouldn't.

I will say that overall I enjoyed the experience I just saw opportunities for more. Oh and there were a number of those teacher types that seemed all too familiar from both my days as a student and in classrooms.

Verdict: Worth a buck for viewing but not worth buying outright. If you're easily offended by a woman being mean to kids this is not for you. But if it sounds kinda funny and you wanna see Jason Segel be Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz go against type check it out.

Gauntlet Review 235: 13 Assassins

2011-12-11T21:06:00.003-05:00

I think every culture has it's own definitive genre that is created because of their unique history. The U.S. has the western. China has kung fu flicks. The French has esoteric arty films. India has the Bollywood musical. The British have.......well most culture's have their own genre. I would say the unique genre for Japan would be the samurai flick. However since the end of the Akira Kurosawa's era there hasn't been much talk about any particular samurai flicks. Until horror director Takashi Miike made this movie that is.

The story takes place towards the end of the samurai era. The current Shogun have a problem. It would seem the heir apparent to lead the Shogun is a raging psychotic sociopath that gets his jollies torturing innocent people and then subsequently murdering them. After a ritual suicide brings the young leader's actions into the public eye the Shogun head of justice has a tricky problem. He really needs to kill this guy but the Shogun say it's a no go. So like any good justice officer he asks the top samurai to assassinate the soulless fop. After gathering about twelve more guys our hero begins his fight against impossible odds to take out evil incarnate.

Before I begin to rant and rave about the action which litters the film's final hour I will compliment arty things and make complaints. The arty compliments come in because despite being an action flick this is a great demonstration of the samurai culture. Undying loyalty even to corrupt masters, ritual suicide, and the code of honor are all over this movie especially in the movie's first half. This is a strong choice because you can see why these men wouldn't mind a suicide mission. It's ingrained in them. Likewise it was nice to see that Miike is capable of making a violet movie without shock value. His earlier film Ichi The Killer came under fire for showing a sociopath hack and slash people in incredibly cruel ways but here even the ritual suicide is panned away from so you only see a face and the end result.

Complaints:

First half drags a big especially since you really really want the bad guy to die faster and there's a mountain man character that seems to be brought in for comic relief and seems to have no real purpose. Not to mention the fact that his character arc is completely unresolved. Also how easy is it to deflect an arrow with a sword. I get the impression that arrows move faster than human reflexes could at close range. Finally, I distinctly got the impression that the number of murders is far greater than the number of soliders they listed off.

The Action Lover Freak-Out:

Seeing as this movie already won the Japanese version of the Oscar for best picture by expectations for the action were quite high and it certainly delivered. A lot of this can be attributed to the lack of details the audience knows about the battle. What we know going in is that they've prepared a place full of explosives and traps for a large amount of troops. What we find out is that they left most of the details out. This leads to genuine excitement both for the unexpected assaults and a personal celebration of the utter genius of what they just did. It's the opposite of James Bond where they show you all the gadgets that he's going to use before the movie is over.

From the beginning of the onslaught it doesn't let up but we still get plenty of pauses to let us take in the action and prepare for more samurai slashing fun. Old school samurai fans will be pleased to even see individuals faces off from time to time. The only complaint that any action fan might have is that it lacks the acrobatic feel of Kill Bill Vol. 1 fight sequences but we're grounded in some sense of reality so it works. Another nice thing is that they don't give you the impression that any is walking away from this so when a character is killed you're not going "Oh no not him!" They're all childless familyless warriors that know their lives are about to end so they fight like it.

I was a giant fan of this movie and it's one of the few times I didn't mind the big build up because the pay-off was incredible.

Verdict: If you're a martial arts film fan at all rent it or buy it. If you're looking for a different kind of war movie find a way to check it out. And don't you dare but the dubbing on cause you'll miss half the emotion if not more.

Gauntlet Review 234: The Muppets

2011-11-25T20:20:00.004-05:00

About three months ago I began to watch a trailer for a movie called Green with Envy that looked like it was starring Jason Segel and Amy Adams. At first it looked like a really cheesy romantic comedy until the narrator started listing the cast and got to Kermit the Frog....? Turns out it was all a fake trailer to let me know that the Muppets were coming up with a new movie. And I was in, they kept putting out more funny trailers and my anticipation kept rising. It's been awhile since the Muppets have come out with a new anything so can the movie live up to the hype and their absence? Let's find out.

Our story is told from the point of view of Walter, a young man who also happens to be the Muppets biggest fan. Oh he also happens to look exactly like a Muppet. So when his brother Gary (Jason Segel) and his girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams) decide to head to Hollywood to celebrate their anniversary Walter tags along to see the Muppet Studio. Much to his dismay the Muppet studio is run-down and may get bought up by an oil tycoon named Richman (Chris Cooper). Not wanting to see his heroes legacy destroyed Walter seeks out the Muppets to get them to reunite and save their studio.

Now considering when the first movie came out this movie had a lot on its plate. They have to effectively bring the series back for a generation that grew up with the Muppets and bridge the gap between them. Thankfully there's enough G-rated joy for everyone to enjoy. Jason Segel's hands are clearly all over this and the same general goofiness that applied to his puppet Dracula show in Forgetting Sarah Marshall was clearly prep for this movie.

Everything is in place. The songs are bouncy and fun. The old favorites like Rainbow Connection show up. And of course all of your old Muppet pals have their old quirks and catchphrases. And there's a ton of celebrity cameos from rocker Dave Grohl to Segel's friends like Neil Patrick Harris. But the thing shines through the entire movie is a wonderfully sarcastic sense of humor that parodies movies in general and even their own movie. And thankfully the Muppets themselves are in on the joke as Kermit even utters the phrase haven't you seen a Muppet movie before this is what we do now.

While this movie seems to have this very purpose in mind it reminds us that this is the kind of movie and entertainment that we've been missing. It's PG rated and not even for an off color joke. In fact I'm not sure what it's for. The casting decision of Amy Adams was perfect considering her dynamite performance in Enchanted and I liked how ridiculously G-rated they kept the relationship between her and Jason Segel. The jokes for the most part are right on and it never takes itself too seriously.

Ok if I'm critiquing this I should admit that every now and then the movie aims for a sadder tone but there's never any real worry about the ending. The Kermit and Piggy drama is a bit overstated but once again it's not like they're going to give us a sad ending. Also it's much less terrifying than the whole frog legged fries in the original Muppet movie cause that was terrifying for me as a child.

Verdict: Go see it and it'll put a big goofy smile on your face. And here's to hoping they bring back the show in the near future.

Gauntlet Review 233: The Cooler

2011-11-22T23:14:00.004-05:00

There really needs to career awards for supporting actors. Big time directors or the actors who never got their statuette get honored in such a fashion but how about the guy that's always a side character in those Oscar winning roles? Because if there was William H. Macy would already have one. A perpetual bridesmaid when it comes to leading roles Macy has carved out a nice niche playing any number of slightly awkward/funny supporting characters. Think Boogie Nights and Mystery Men. So I heard there was a nice little indie film starring Macy I thought I'd check it out.

Macy plays Bernie Lootz a man who's bad luck also earns him his paycheck. Bernie is a cooler, a player who's notably bad luck affects anyone he plays with or interacts with. Which of course makes him a great tool for a Las Vegas casino. However, Bernie's sad little lift gets turned upside down when cocktail waitress Natalie takes and interest in him. Though most would celebrate it seems that Natalie has made cooler lucky much to the chagrin of casino operator Shelly (Alec Baldwin).

Now while I gave you the basic layout for the movie this really feels like two movies. The first is the love story between Bernie and Natalie as they fall in love and Bernie's luck begins to change. The second is for our casino operator Shelly as he deals with investors who want to turn his casino into something out of Disney land who also want to see his cooler be effective hence the overlap.

The story is undoubtedly stretched thin even for less than a two hour run time and some of the material feels a little contrived (insert anything involving Bernie's punk son). I would also say that there are some dramatic shifts where we're supposed to go from horrified to joyous and romantic and then violent and then comedic. It's a lot to handle sometimes.

But this is more than overcome by the acting. In a role tailored to his abilities Macy shines as the once glum and awkward Bernie who quickly realizes that his bad luck might all be a state of mind. And while I may not have been a fan of her accent Maria Bello is reliable as ever as Natalie who demonstrates enough gumption, sexuality and vulnerability to make her seem like a real woman.

But the Oscar nomination went (deservedly so) to Alec Baldwin. First of all, he probably could have been declared the lead in this movie and few would argue because he gets what seems to be half the screen time. It also doesn't hurt that this is his most menacing and un-hinged role since Glenngary Glenross. Gone from my mind quickly was the comedic 30 Rock star and enter the gangster. From his violent outbursts to his eyes expressing disapproval and disgust while his words say something different this is probably the best example of Baldwin's dramatic talents. Just by looking at him you can see the volcano about the erupt and you're curious to see just how far he'd go if he did.

This of course doesn't distract from the love story a bit but this is a simple independent movie made with a simple premise and small cast so it's still solid entertainment.

Verdict: Not all the bells and whistles of a blockbuster but the strong acting and characters more than make up for the movies flaws. Worth renting

Gauntlet Review 232: Hall Pass

2011-11-22T22:45:00.004-05:00

I've missed the Owen Wilson of old. Between his kids movies and his forgettable solo projects it was due time that Wilson would get paired with a more energetic counter lead (a la Wedding Crashers). And with the dynamic duo of gross out comedies the Farrelly Brothers in the drivers seat all systems are go right? Not fast said critics. While never wanting to spend my money on bad entertainment but always at heart remaining an optimist I decided to try out Hall Pass and see if it was worth the time I was gonna spend watching it.

Rick and Fred are bored (Owen Wilson and Jason Sedeukis respectively). Well bored with their sex lives....or lack their of with their wives.... so much so that they constantly fantasize about other women. With the frustration mounting on both sides Rick and Fred are each given a Hall Pass from their spouse. As defined by the movie the Hall Pass means: one week off from marriage anything goes and no questions asked. Of course this all sounds good in theory but Rick and Fred quickly find out that finding filling women isn't as easy as it seems.

Now from the get go I can see why critics didn't like this movie. They felt duped. With the team of people on hand and the previews I'm sure most audience members would be thinking of Animal House type tom-foolery. Instead it's more a of standard R-rated comedy minus most if not all of the expected gross-out moments and gratuitous nudity. This wasn't a K.O. for me as I've expressed numerous times how previews are made to deceive us and get us in the theaters but I did find complaints of my own.

First of all, you made Rick and Fred's spouses Jenna Fischer and Christina Appelgate. I think both of these women are sexy nerd heaven material so to have them be the one's their husbands are turning away from didn't seem very realistic in my mind. And for those of you wondering no I didn't ask why when Jessie James and Tiger Woods got caught cheating.

Next, Rick and Fred needed to be less dorky. I get that they're past their prime and all but they don't need to wear clothes from the eighties or mistake Snow Patrol for Snow Dogs the kids movie (an actual joke). The best parts of this movie come when Rick and Fred are more bystanders to ridiculousness or flat out being ridiculous themselves. Wilson was born to play the guy reacting to the craziness going on next to him.

I will say that the Farrelly Brothers may have forgotten how to make their style of movie. This feels like a comedy that any number of directors could have made. There's Something About Mary was their pinnacle because they balanced their three crucial elements:

#1 A simple premise stretched for comedic effect

#2 Some heart

#3 Shocking gross-out moments

Here the primary focus seems to be element #2 when aspect #1 and #3 are what will get us in the theater.

That being said I kinda enjoyed the movie. It's nothing memorable sure but there were a couple of laugh out loud moments and Richard Jenkins is always great when he slums it up for a comedy in a great cameo type role. Besides Wilson and Sedeukis are beyond likable so they help carry the movie through it's weaker moments.

Verdict: Try it out if you're in the mood for an R-rated comedy but don't pay high or buy it new unless you already know you like it. Expect some glimpses of Farrelly Brother's humor but don't expect excessive debauchery.

Gauntlet Review 231: Bridesmaids

2011-11-22T22:17:00.003-05:00

I think for most people there's a kind of movie/game/music that they tend to not like. I personally don't have a big thing for country music for instance. That being said there are often exceptions such as Loretta Lynn's Van Lear Rose album. However what someone should never do in ensure you you'll love something that you're not a hundred percent on. So with my cards on the table I'll bet you can guess the direction I'm going regarding the hype surrounding this movie. Easily one of the top movies box office wise this summer if not this year critics were hailing this movie as outright hilarious from start to finish and chick flick that everyone will love. I put this to the test.

Our story follows Annie a down on her luck thirty something who is a rut financially, socially, career-wise and romantically. However, Annie has a bright spot as her best friend Lillian is getting married and wants her to be her maid of honor. Of course, nothing goes according to plan, shenanigans ensue and Annie's already messed up life is put into the blender again. Can she recover in time for the wedding and find herself a suitable mate in the process?

Now before I get into the nitty-gritty of what made me miffed about this movie I'll say that I went in with exceedingly high expectations. The reviews were great, people were raving (including my guy friends), and the movie stayed in theaters for forever. It didn't hurt that I've loved Kristen Whig in everything else she's done. BUT....caps are for emphasis there were a couple of things that didn't stop bugging me.

Problem #1: Annie's life starts out in the crapper so there's not much room for her to go. However for whatever reason after a brief hike in her self-esteem and life score it takes a drastic turn back down and keeps going and keeps going and keeps going. I was honestly waiting to see if she was going to get suicidal at some point. All comedies have third act opening downers and I get that Annie's behavior while flawed will feel real to some but I found it hard to laugh because there was sooo much misery happening.

Problem #2: Helen. While I get that every comedy needs some kind of antagonist and in particular a girl movie needs a rival lady but they made her beyond unlikable. I was wondering how a fight didn't break out between these two. It also made it difficult to see why Lillian doesn't catch on to what she's doing and how she could make up with Annie towards the end. It didn't add up.

That's not to say that the movie isn't funny. It certainly is. There are some bits that ramble on such as the world's most awkward wedding toast battle but the best material in the movie comes when they're not trying to make Annie feel awkward. Anytime Whig and Maya Rudolph interact are high points. Oh and anytime Melissa McCarthy was on screen. She flat out steals every scene she's in and offers a confident hilarious counterpoint to Annie's constant misery. I'm honestly hoping for a sequel that just follows her character around.

At the core this is still a girl movie because of the familiar themes of the female lead always choosing the wrong guy and having career/self-confidence troubles. Oh and I got to ask this.....Where is the cop from? They establish that he's not from there I get it and they half tell you what city they all live in, though not really, but I swear I never heard him state oh yeah I'm from this part of this country. This might mostly be a personal complaint since I couldn't quite pick the region of the accent.

Verdict: Rent before buying since it's good for a once over but go in with regular expectations.

Gauntlet Review 230: Family Guy Star Wars Series

2011-11-19T22:42:00.004-05:00

While it may become more derivative nowadays there was once a time where I looked to Family Guy every Sunday to make me laugh. Sadly, in my humble opinion recent episodes have become the kind of show they used to make fun of. But however there have been a few bright spots such as the Star Wars features well at least the first two. Story goes that they had referenced the series so much they had to ask Lucasfilm all the time if the references were ok and they said why don't we just do Star Wars. Surprisingly George Lucas not only said yes but even watched it before it aired......that shows reasonable.....and sane......I'm confused. Anyway Family Guy Star Wars.

Ok you know what the plot to this and if you don't you better not watch it because a lot of jokes will go right over your head....if not all of them. The basic things to know Chris is Luke, Lois is Leah, Peter is Han, Brian is Cheiw, Stewie is Vader, and Cleveland and Quagmire are R2D2 and C-3P0 respectively. And now we're aiming for wacky highjinks!

The first one feels a bit padded and has some notable misses, the casting of the creepy old guy with a thing for Chris falls completely flat after about the second joke. If it's a note character to begin with it's best to make sure he only shows up once. Though to be truthful I don't know who else could've been Obi-Wan. The also openly admit they kept adding stuff to fit the hour long tv run time which in this case means it's about forty-five minutes.

However despite these complaints there's a true love of the original series at it's core and there some inspired bits. The entire moving of the couch is flat-out hilarious and easily went through every moving experience that I've ever had. I also like that they felt comfortable making fun of things that die-hard fans may not. Such as the chunky member of the Red X-wing gang. In terms of DVD extras there's not a whole lot and I wish that the commentary was more fun than informative but that may be just me.

The second one Something Something Dark Side is easily the best. Here the run time feels just right, there's no major misses, and with it being a direct to DVD release they felt more comfortable throwing in a couple of curse words. Peter's take on the "I love you" "I know" is a notable example. They also manage to balance the references with funny stuff from the characters which is no easy task but if the show's writers had anything to do with this please do this in your new episodes.

Sadly the trilogy does not have a happy conclusion as the final installment is admitted directly by it's creators entirely thrown together to profit from the success of the first two. As the flying text in space tells us they were pretty much forced to do this and it really shows because the jokes all seem really really forced. The only highlights are when they start making digs at the show's creator and Seth Green. I honestly can't even recommend one viewing because I feel like it'll sour your view of the first two somehow.

Final verdict: the first one is good for at least one viewing and the second one is worth buying. Third one I'd say is up for burning if you get the chance.

Gauntlet Review 229: Horrible Bosses

2011-11-15T12:38:00.002-05:00

It's been awhile since a mainstream comedy has tackled the workplace. I mean you'd think it would be cannon fodder with all of the complaints about corporate America (looking at you Occupy movement) but sadly no notable workplace comedies since Office Space starring hey Jennifer Aniston....Thankfully along comes Horrible Bosses featuring a cast of people I would watch in almost anything in a crude comedy/revenge fantasy. I'm In!

Our story follows three friends. Nick (Jason Bateman) is a corporate type who works for a slave-driver (Kevin Spacey in a gleeful return to Swimming With Sharks form) who also might be a grade-A sociopath. Dale is a dimwitted recently engaged dental assistant that is getting constant sexual harassment from his lady boss (Jennifer Aniston in a delightful out of character role). And finally we have Kurt, a lady hound who's new boss coke and stripper addiction is threatening to tank his entire company. So after a couple of booze fueled nights of misery the three decide to conspire to kill their respective bosses.

It's no new ground but there's a lot of fun to be taken away from the whole experience. Charlie Day who has expanded his reach beyond It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia these days finds himself right at home playing Charlie from It's Always Sunny which is not a bad thing in the case of this movie. Bateman still has his mastery of sarcasm and disbelief that made him perfect in Arrested Development and I think the underrated MVP on the movie is Jason Sudeikis. While the other two have well crafted comedic timings and images from previous works Sudeikis plays to whatever the situation needs and gets a lot of the best one-liners. It was also nice to see a guy who is so smooth with ladies one second and then committing awkward racial faux-pas the next.

The bosses on the other side are not to be forgotten. Kevin Spacey is as reliable as ever and seems to be playing the antithesis of his character in American Beauty with devilish panache. Jennifer Aniston also successful goes against type and credit goes to the writers for creating dialogue that was shocking in it's graphic nature and in the fact that it's coming from Jennifer Aniston. Gentle sexual harassment wouldn't have worked her and Aniston stepped up. I do wish Colin Farrell was more involved in the movie since his completely un-PC rants and make looked like they could be near Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder levels.

In a comedy like this it's all about everybody pulling their weight and making sure everything is funny and thankfully the combined energies of our three heroes combined with their ridiculous bosses is more than enough to sustain the thin plot. Cameos from Donald Sutherland, Julie Bowden, and Jaime Foxx don't hurt either. The ending is a bit slapdash and seems to leave some questions unanswered but if you're in the mood for a good old fashioned R-rated buddy comedy you're in for a treat.

Gauntlet Review 228: Resident Evil Afterlife

2011-11-07T19:07:00.003-05:00

While I was never a fan of the video games I have constantly found myself disappointed by the Resident Evil series. In theory it has all the makings of what could be one of my personal favorites. We have zombies, superhuman action, guns, knives, and corrupt businessmen with really good security forces. But sadly the writer and director of these movies is Paul WS Anderson who has very misguided ideas about what constitutes a good action flick and decided to add 3-D to the mix for go around number four oh goody. So with expectations on the floor and an underlying desire to like the series away we go.

Fresh off the telekinetic clone experiment that was the last movie our heroine Alice stages a multi-clone assault on the people who released the T-virus which might as well be called the zombie virus known as the Umbrella corporation in their underground headquarters. Sadly Alice misses her target Albert Wesker and instead decides to go looking for any last remnants of humanity. Along the way she finds a former friend with amnesia and stock characters that can be killed off one by one as we lead to another Alice vs. bad guys showdown.

Now to say the plot is atrocious is an understatement because it jumps everywhere for no reason. First the assault on Umbrella which was only a third as cool as it should have been. Because as it turns out you need good fight choreographers to make exciting action sequences. Next Alice heads out to some abandoned Alaskan village in search of the folks from the last one which is a gutsy leap of faith for them to presume you remember all of that. From there we land on a former prison and decided to hash out Dawn of the Dead without themes of commercialism and instead opt for face-hugging zombie deaths. By the time you hit what are supposed to be the cool parts or the climax you're probably going to pray everyone is already dead or guessed every major plot twist. It's sad.

The action scenes are also completely uninspiring and feature a whole lot of poorly edited flips, boring gunplay, and slowmo that somehow ends up feeling like the main characters tried to talk to each other (aka also super boring).

Now as I may or may not have stated I am not a big fan of 3D because I deem it to be a gimmic to make people buy new TVs and blu-ray players. Also now they're going stop making the glasses so now people will decide it's really not worth it. I lose sunglasses I half care about let alone a pair of crap glasses that put an extra three bucks on my already expensive movie ticket.

Of course my hatred hasn't always been justified as a number of movies have used the medium well such as Kung Fu Panda 2 (you can't always use Avatar it was the progenitor of all of this). However, Resident Evil Afterlife shows exactly why you shouldn't aim to make 3-D movies. Now see in a decently made 3-D movie the difference between the two versions of the film is practically non-existent. Here there are at least fifteen different moments where there's slow motion or bullet time shots or something that comes towards the screen where it's abundantly clear that 3-D was supposed to be happening right now. To say that it would irritate somebody who decided to rent this from Redbox is an understatement.

Overall, this movie has the feeling of somebody just trying to be cool when they're really not. They might give us glimpses of what we like (hello movie trailers) but it's really just a pretty getup to hide the fact that they're a phony. Also I don't care if he married her, misusing Leelo (Milla Jovovich for those of you who aren't Fifth Element fans) is never acceptable considering her natural action chick swagger.

3 Cardinal Sins of Video Game Movies

2011-11-02T08:39:00.007-04:00

As most movie critics and movie fans alike can agree video game movies currently hold the same amount of reverence in the film community as a leper with a shirtless hugging addiction. However as both a video gamer and a movie lover, I still try to retain hope for the future of video game movies and won't dismiss video games as "unworthy" source material. But if that's the case why on earth are all video game movies so awful? I loved the Max Payne games and Marky Marky! (that is his official title as long as we both shall live) Why did Max Payne smell like rotten cabbage and breathe failure? Well it along with its other video game movie spawn committed one if not all of the following cardinal sins.

#1: Unwise selection of source material.

Offenders: Super Mario Bros., Any game based on a fighting game, Doom.

Hey do you remember that live action version of Garfield? Of course you don't the only reason you're probably aware of its existence is that Bill Murray lists it as his one regret in Zombieland. But seriously even when the ads came out did anything besides Bill Murray voicing the fat orange cat interest you? If you answer yes I would like to direct you to your hammer to face lesson or your elementary school classroom. If you answered no then you're a rational human being who thought that making a full live action movie out of a comic strip was something an angry movie execs kids thought up during a tantrum. Better than choosing Mary Worth though that smug old woman.

Hollywood seems to have done the equivalent by choosing fighting games or GAMES WITH NONSENSE PLOTS OR NONE AT ALL! Now while I've never been one to argue that an entertaining movie needs a solid plot (see Fast Five), it does need to at least provide decent character motivation for why this is all going on. So for fighting games this means your motivation is..........you really want to win? As far as I can remember every fighting game from Street Fighter to Mortal Kombat had a text screen that gave you the back drop to everything. Also in each case if one character succeeds everyone else is destined to go home crying or have a whole lot of being dead on their weekly calender.

Likewise with Mario you have the motivation of I like blondes and I clearly hate reptile that all of those people have been flushing down the toliet and ok really it's the fever dream of a plumber on his death bed while tripping on LSD. There's a reason they make a freaking academy award category for adapted screenplays and the easiest way to knee cap a movie out of the gate is to pick something a child can think up.

I'm still waiting for the attempted adaptation of the boy and his blob. For those of you not familiar it's an old school nintendo game where a kid has a white blob that follows him around and does tricks for jellybeans and takes on monsters and stuff. Uwe Bolle would be all over this.

However this could all be overcome if not for a number of other things including.....

#2: Budget

Offenders: Alone in the Dark, Max Payne, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter etc.

Movies cost money and so do visual effects. Guess what video game movies should be heavy on? Oh exactly that. Is this usually the case? Hells no

After the Super Mario Bros. fiasco killed the idea of spending actual money on a video game adaptation studio execs are beyond reluctant to spend anything more than 30 million on a video game movie and then have those feelings validated when the reviews suck and the movie makes barely it's budget. Slight problem.

Making video games look sweet costs millions more. The production for a major title like Call of Duty can near a billion if not surpass it easily because the money that's spent on making trees look nice in Modern Warfare 3 could make the Kardashian family look like hobos. But sadly here seems to be conversation with studio execs and producers.

Producer #1: Stereotype douche Producer #2 Only guy with a brain in the room

Exec: Likely playing with a slinky while participating in the exchange.

P 1: Hey we've got this great idea for a movie. It's a romantic comedy with Sarah Jessica Parker and who's our latest eye candy man whore Channing Tatum let's pick him and he's a male model she's the fashion designer we're going to call it: Designing Phillip.

Exec: Change the name to Craig. I like the name Craig. It's my dog's name!

P1: Oh ok...Designing Craig it is then we'd like a hundred mill to make it.

E: (in a low chanting tone) Craig Craig Craig Craig....Sold! What's next?

P2: Hey we've got this gritty stealthy spy adventure about a rogue CIA operative out to stop a government overthrow and find the guy who killed his daughter.

E: Yeah shooting stuff *starts firing an imaginary shotgun*! Is it based off of anything?

P2: A book......kinda

E: What do you mean kinda?

P2: Well it's Splinter Cell Conviction...it's a great video game tons of action...

E: I'll give you thirty million.

P2: But the explosion budget would be at least twice that much.....

E: You KNOW the rules *points to sign that says 30 mill for video game movies as if it's the constitution*

P2: OK I'll see what B-listers are available and if any A-lister wants to slum it up to play the villain.

#3: Bastardizing Decent Source Material

This is easily the biggest problem with video game adaptations which comes in a number of forms and trends:

#1: Actor choices: Hey white washing is still cool right? Oh it's not? Why would making Jake Gyllenhall a Persian Prince potentially be offensive? He tans really well. Oh it's not cool....this is awkward. You want a rice crispie treat...no I wasn't going to suggest that a British guy play Mario ok maybe i was but we'll get a Latino actor to play Luigi and that's kind of the same right? Right?

#2: Toning down the action. Why do we all like video games? Cause of all the mindless violence. How much do video game movies have? Surprisingly small amounts. You can chalk it up to budget but there's still no reason for something like a martial arts showdown to be boring. The fighting in the Mortal Kombat looks like grown men having slap fights and Street Fighter isn't much better. Likewise Doom had about one decent action scene that also was first person. Imagine a whole bunch of sequences like that rather than trying to listen to some scientist talk about there might be evil stuff going on here. Oh and the Sands of Time are used about once in the entire Prince of Persia movie?

#3: Choosing the wrong lead character. You guys remember how everyone liked playing are Guile in Street Fighter? What do you mean he's a pansy? But he's got that sonic boom. Yeah I know it's not a freakin fireball but it cancels out that attack. Ah damn got beaten by that damn helicopter kick again. In Street Fighter they flat out ignored the lead characters of Ryu and Ken (a legitimate American bad-ass in a video game) and went with Guile cause well he's a military guy? I don't know it makes no sense. Likewise the next movie chose Chun-Li and made her only like half Asian or something.

#4: Changing the source material for no reason. I don't know why this keeps happening but most video games offer at least six hours of entertainment including dialogue, action, and sometimes even character development. And that combination is usually what's so successful. However once again Producer 1 and Exec get the Best of Producer 2.

Producer #1: Alright so we've got this video game movie

Exec: 30 Mill (As if waking from a nap with his eyes open)

P 1: Oh no we've got it. See he's a hard boiled cop that's taking on these drug guys so we're gonna make it so it seems like demonic angels are somehow involved in all of the action.

P2: That makes no sense the entire game is based around slow motion gunfights why would you add something like that?

P1: Pssh he doesn't get it...but he will when he sees the fight against one of the main bosses where they fight hand to hand with a shotgun and a machete.

P2: That's supposed to be a massive gun battle with at least ten people!

Exec: 30 Mill douchebag!

P2: At least tell me that Hitman has a ton of disguises and sneaky kills with only a major gunfight at....the....end.....why is he trying to not cry while he's laughing so hard? *points to Producer 1*

Exec: I'm sorry it sounds like you just said you wanted to make a movie based on a stealth game....

P2: Well that's what it is!

Exec: Are you sure you didn't mean an eighties styled R-rated action flick cause that's what you'll get and like it!

P2: I see.....*P2 exits while crying like a bride left at the alter*

P1: Idiot....So we're totally going try to make Prince of Persia a Pirates of the Caribbean franchise?

Exec: Oh yeah but we're gonna make this first one a turd and not waste time making anyone interesting.

And there you have it. Maybe one day Producer 2 will be heard.

Gauntlet Review 228: Hanna

2011-10-27T20:57:00.000-04:00

I think it's safe to say that Hollywood has a mild obsession with assassins. Whether our heroes are running from them or becoming them or completing their one last job before they lose all of their humanity they're everywhere. But how do you create one? And what happens when you've raised them to be nothing but a killing machine? To answer our questions comes Hanna an action thriller from the director of Atonement? Ok that's weird but the reviews were good so let's roll.

Our story begins in Siberia where Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) spends her days hunting and training with her father (Eric Bana). As the days pass Hanna begins to get anxious to get out and complete her mission, the killing of the C.I.A. agent that killed her mother (Cate Blanchett). But after the mission doesn't go as planned Hanna's journey of vengeance also becomes a journey of self discovery.

Now I'll admit that I was shifted in this movie's favor from the very beginning because of the concept which is one I've wanted to see for years a child/teen raised to be an assassin. And the concept is worked very well because Hanna ends up being both naive and deadly. Sweet one second and knifing a pursuer the next.

The action scenes are also excessively well choreographed without relying on ramping like Priest did. It's nice to see hand to hand combat that is both exciting and feels real. The flying through the air thing only seems semi plausible in martial arts movies. Oh and did I mention the cast is stacked? Every lead actor I mentioned previously has at least one Oscar or Oscar worthy performance under their belt and they each bring their best to what could be a throwaway type of movie. But of course there's some complaints.

First of all, the side characters are littered with stereotypes. We have the amoral kinky German who seems to get pleasure out of inflicting pain on others which feels nearly racist. You meet this guy running a transexual show of sorts to give you an idea. Hanna's friend that she makes along the way is about five irritating British/girl stereotypes put together and the hippie mother seemed unnecessary. However, I'm sure they're all there to offer contrast to Hanna and her lack of wordly experience. Still they were kind of irritating.

There's also an entire subplot that just seems entirely unnecessary since it has little to no influence on the plot in the end. Honestly it was like the writers were thinking we've got to get a little bit on intrigue right? This is also for Focus features so we've got to make this feel a little artier. Let's throw in this.

But this is like finding your own hair on a great piece of cake. It's irritating but definitely not a dealbreaker.

The pacing is great and for a low budget movie I was greatly impressed with the action sequences in particular the hand to hand combat. Like Drive proved you don't need to tell a complicated story you just need to tell it well.

Gauntlet Review 227: Priest

2011-10-25T22:31:00.003-04:00

After spending years as a perpetually reliable and often scene stealing supporting actor Brit Paul Bettany has spent his last couple of films trying to reimagine himself as an action star it would seem. His first major venture Legion was received about as well as a veal entree at a Vegan convention despite a fallen angel/apocalypse theme and a hilarious opening in its trailer. This time around Bettany takes up the title role in Priest another in the long line of based on a graphic novel projects that Hollywood is churning out more than actual novels it seems. So can Bettany prove his metal or will it fall flat?

In the future, our world is a wasteland after years of war with vampires that was successfully won by a group of superhumans known as Priest who despite their religious regalia kill vampires like no one's business. After one of the few remaining Priest hears about a vampire attack involving his kin he goes against church edict and searches for his niece. Along the way he must confront his past demons and possibly unravel a vampire conspiracy.

Now there are a lot of problems and issues I had with this movie but I'll focus on the big question is Bettany a worthy action hero. Surprisingly yes. After years of playing understudy to guys like Russel Crowe he plays grizzled and hard edged just fine and I never doubted that he could deliver the fights if it came to it. The fights themselves aren't spectacular but they are interesting/thrilling enough. The supporting cast is surprisingly strong too featuring Karl Urban, Maggie Q, and even Stephen Moyer from True Blood (not as a vampire sorry to say).

The problems come about in a number of overused characters and trends in movies that I feel need to be addressed.

Overused Character #1: The useless new guy. In case you weren't aware Batman and Robin worked well together because they functioned as a team. Sure Robin isn't the muscular genius that Batman is but his still combat tested and Batman trusts him completely. Here our supporting character seems useless in combat and Priest seems to have waaay too much fun reminding him that he should have died or why he sucks at killing vampires.

Overused Character #2: The corrupt zealot. Of course with a number of great examples around these days it's easy to forget but not every religious person is a pious jerk. In fact some of them are kind of pleasant and raise great kids (wink wink). I know that the theme here perhaps questioning belief but you don't have to have someone rebelling against the Church higher ups everytime.

Now the bad trends.

Over/Under Explaining: Here they tell us a lot about the war with the vampires and how the world became what it was. That's great it gives us back story. But why in the hell are these Priests so powerful? It's never addressed at all. Likewise it's never addressed why a new kind of vampire came about or how (I mean it kinda it but it really isn't). In the meantime we get a bunch of random details about vampires like how their bodies move in case we have to shoot them but it's never addressed why you move like Neo when vamps show up.

Ramping: Slo mo is very cool I think we can all admit it but as Cracked.com pointed out every action movie seems to feel this need to do the 300 thing of slowing down the action speeding it up and then going to normal speed to make things look more awesome. Want to create an exciting fight scene? Pull of something we wouldn't think of. A flying kick through the air has been done. Like a lot. It doesn't matter how much you slow it down or speed it up make it original first before adding the style element.

The implied sequel: I know sequels are the bread and butter of Hollywood nowadays but no movie should be made with the implication that another one will be made. And even if you are certain don't give us taglines that indicate this wasn't intended to be a singular product. Here they advertise that the war is just beginning on the front. Well why the hell should I watch this unless there's going to be a second one? Considering how poorly it did at the box office this seems unlikely.

Like any somewhat interesting source material there was plenty of potential on the table but it seems like most of it was spent on dark costumes, CGI vampires and explosions, which is enough to get you by but really it's like the old chinese food joke. Ten minutes later you want something more filling.

Movie Trailer Roundup

2011-10-23T18:09:00.005-04:00

As I have often complained many movie trailers offer far too much excitement for crap movies. On the other hand some trailers get the job right and I typically ignore it because that's what they are supposed to do. But as much as I might complain they do tend to excite me so I always have to be wary if anything looks good in a trailer. That being said here comes a quick roundup of first impressions based on a number of recent movie trailers.

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows: While many complained about the Hollywood treatment of the world's greatest detective I was pleasantly surprised by both Robert Downey Jr.'s performance, the rapport between himself and Jude Law and how they explain that his fighting prowess is an aspect of his spectacular brain. Here they look like they've upped the stakes, the action, given us less Rachel Macadams (who was honestly out of place), and placed him against his rival Moriarty. I'm certainly in. Oh and I love slow motion action scenes that feature explosions.

Contraband: I haven't heard a lot of hype about this movie but it looks to be a combination heist/action drama. I'm always a fan of Mark Wahlberg but it doesn't help that the plot looks like a combination of the Town and the Gone In Sixty Seconds remake. Still the cast look amicable enough so I'll wait to see what the reviews are before I make any sort of judgement.

The Grey: It would seem that Liam Neeson is saying goodbye to serious acting for at least a half decade and I'm ok with it. Here we have a plan crash survivor who is trying to stay alive as wolves stalk him. The end of the trailer shows him with little liquor bottles made into knuckles of sort and charging an angry wolf. This may be the most awesomely ridiculous thing I saw this week. We'll see.....probably gonna be a movie plus booze experience.

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol: Making a wise decision by avoiding labeling this as Mission Impossible four the action looks ridiculous and I always feel good with Brad Bird in the director's chair considering his work on the Incredibles. It also helps that they're retaining a sense of humor about it all. Other good casting choices include retaining Simon Pegg from the last movie and adding Jeremy Renner who's got plenty of swagger and talent to spare. Considering that I like each of these movies more as the series went on my hopes are high.

This Means War: Two young male talents are on display with Inception's Tom Hardy and our new Captain Kirk Chris Pine playing fellow spies who find out they're dating the same girl (Reese Witherspoon). This looks like it has potential in terms of action and the interplay between Pine and Hardy looks good but I worry about similarities to Knight and Day and/or Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the addition of Chelsea Handler to the cast. But I'll keep an eye on critic opinion on this one.

The Adventures of Tintin: Let's be honest it's been awhile since Spielberg has given us a truly great film especially considering that last thing I can think of is his production credit on Transformers and the abomination that was the last Indiana Jones movie. It also seemed risky going to the motion capture CGI and a beloved comic character. However the first full length trailer gives me a lot of hope with the authentic look of the books, plenty of humor, excellent voice casting (once again Simon Pegg), and wow worthy action sequences. Pleasantly surprised by my second look.

The Avengers: I know there's been a lot of concern/excitement abotu this movie and the trailer got me more excited than anything else. Considering the vastly different tones of the various Marvel movies I was glad to see the look and character styles kept intact. The action also looks amazing and I was able to see glimpses of Euclid Ave. blow up. Hopefully we'll be able to balance stuck to your seat action sequences with decent characterization. The familiarity with the other movies will help immensely here but I'm quite excited.

The Amazing Spiderman: I do love my superheroes. I also like it when they take Spidey back to his teenage roots gives us a great cast including Emma Stone, Denis Leary & Martin Sheen, and promise for a sarcastic Peter Parker. My only concern: the first person view. If more than one scene of the movie looks like that I might get really upset because I certainly don't want to pay to watch someone else play Mirror's Edge.

Dark Knight Rises: Try not to get excited about this movie. The Dark Knight was widely considered the best superhero movie ever and we've added new Nolan favorite Tom Hardy as the muscular and cerebral baddie Bane. Also like other Nolan trailers it offers up just enough to get us really excited and asking questions about the plot without giving away all of the details. Considering how much has been shown on the internet about production I'm amazed I still haven't pieced together more. Fair play to Christopher Nolan.

Overall Excitement: There might be a couple of worthy movies during the holidays but we'll see what the critics say. This summer though I might go broke going to see all of my favorite heroes in action.

Gauntlet Review 226: Batman Under The Red Hood

2011-10-16T22:58:00.002-04:00

In case you weren't aware I'm a giant fan of the DC animated universe. Starting with Batman: The Animated Series and going until their current movies and I believe Young Justice, the DC Animated universe has had a nice history of strong writing and storytelling, stellar voice talent, and great action sensibilities. Now they've taken to hitting up some of their popular series from their comic books rather than creating their own storylines. First came Public Enemies featuring Batman and Superman and now we have Batman: Under the Red Hood.

The story begins with one of the most controversial moments in comics history, Robin #2 Jason Todd's death at the hands of the Joker via a crowbar and a massive explosion. Many years later, the Dark Knight is continuing his work when a figure known as the Red Hood begins killing mob bosses and moving in on the Kingpin Black Mask. However as he closes in on Red Hood is becomes abundantly clear that Hood's identity may be far closer to home that expected.

So first things first this is going to differ from the books a bit if you're stickler for details. However they keep true enough to the story's essence and keep some of the best lines and quips from the books so you can't truly complain. My only real complaints are a short run time, that the voice talent isn't who I grew up with as a kid, and that's about it.

In the meantime we've got some impressive action sequences. While I've always liked Batman the animated series the fights weren't always terribly exciting. It was a lot of traditional fist fights and dodging bullets etc. Here the fights look like trained fighters going at it when both combatants are trained. There's also a great fight with Nightwing and Batman vs. Amazo. And there's a least a couple of wow that's awesome action moments which should be a requirement for any superhero fare. I also like that they full embrace Batman's gadgetry and the pure freakishness of what he can do. Christopher Nolan's movies are pretty good but they attempt to be grounded in the real world. The real world can be boring and watching a guy fire a harpoon at a helicopter that's plummeting towards innocent citizens is pretty sweet.

We also get pretty good voice acting. I'll be honest anyone but Kevin Conroy voicing Batman feels out of place and likewise with anyone but Mark Hamill doing the Joker but considering Hamill won't be doing it anymore I guess I'll have to get used to it. Their replacements are quite good with Bruce Greenwood filling in for Batman with the right amount of edge and John DiMaggio capturing the psychotic clown nature of the Joker. I'll be honest though it's hard not to hear Bender's voice a little bit since he does voices for Futurama. Though my favorite addition was Neil Patrick Harris as Nightwing who fits in perfectly as the sarcastic acrobat counter point to Batman's eternal seriousness.

It's short to be certain but for big time Batman fans there's plenty to enjoy here. A familiar story that brings up Batman's biggest failure while also giving us insight into his motivations. I do like that they avoid going back to the murder of Bruce's parents as the entire motivation for why he doesn't kill because it doesn't always fit. But to see him challenged with his past and have to fight it head on is always intriguing.

And hardcore fans can keep an eye for a dig for those who mispronounce Ra's Ahl Guhl's name. It's pronounced like Rhashe for the record. So if you like high class animated action and Batman I would check this out as soon as possible.

Gauntlet Review 225: Paul

2011-10-12T22:14:00.005-04:00

In terms of movies that I love without shame I would look to Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's first two movies which are Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz respectively. And it also helps that Simon Pegg is endearing as hell and that they've covered genres that I love which would be zombie movies and buddy cop action movies. And of course the addition of Pegg's mate Nick Frost has always helped. So now Pegg and Frost have gotten together for a sci-fi parody featuring an alien voice by Seth Rogen. Now while I've never been huge into sci-fi which I know will lose me nerd points I am all for the collaboration so I figured let's check it out.

Graeme and Clive are two British sci-fi nerds who have come to Comic-Con in hopes of seeing all things nerdy and intend to travel throughout the more barren parts of America in hopes of seeing major alien sites. Of course along the way they happen across a crass alien with a voice like Seth Rogen. Now on the run from the government and with an unsubtle alien in tow the two friends aim to get their new friend back home.

Now on paper there's a lot to like here. The cast is beyond stacked from starring characters like Jason Bateman, Kristen Whig and Pegg and Frost who are all in top form and supporting characters like Bill Hader, Joe Lo Truglio and David Koechner who should get awards for being so reliable in their respective side parts the last five years or so. And Seth Rogen is a great choice to voice the CGI Paul. I somehow also glossed over that the director of Superbad is beyond the camera on this one.

That being said if you're looking for Hot Fuzz styled fun you're looking in the wrong place. Edgar Wright frenetic camera is visibly absent and the focus here is more on the buddy buddy parts, crude humor and references. Holy man there are a lot of references. It might help to just see every early Spielberg alien movie and Aliens because there are a ton of references to all of those movies and if you haven't seen them plenty of jokes will go over your head.

However the reference and crudity heavy script isn't a deal breaker and there's a number of clever discussions involving the conflicting beliefs of creationism versus evolution and gleefully over the top action pieces.

Overall the movie has the feel of a road trip movie. They movie from town to town interact with crazy characters all in search of their ultimate goal. And lucky for us most of the side characters are undeniably hilarious. Oh and I'm all for Jason Bateman getting to be a little bit badass since he's got more depth as an actor than he's given credit for. It's also the good kind of comedy where you're never truly worried for the main characters ultimate fate which I'm sure many will call formulaic but being worried or feeling awkward can kill a decent comedy.

It's uneven to be sure as the Rotten Tomato summary will be sure to point out but it's a fun ride to take and it's always fun to see classic films lampooned in a fashion that isn't the Meet The Spartans style of parody. You know that style where they just steal the entire plot of a better genre movie and then call the much better movies they're making fun of stupid and feature prat falls and cleavaged women on the poster. I'll be so happy when those are finally dead.

Gauntlet Review 224: Kill The Irishman

2011-10-10T12:13:00.003-04:00

I don't know how this happened but somehow the gangster flick has been pretty absent the last couple of years. Of course it doesn't help that every gangster film will be compared to either the Godfather or Goodfellas which are considered perfect in every way despite a lot of accepted racist stuff that's just plain accepted. So when I heard tale of a movie that followed the Cleveland mafia that people try to gloss over when they talk about our city's history and an unkillable Irishman I was quite interested.

The story is based on the story of Danny Green, a local labor union chief that eventually worked his way into the Cleveland mafia. Our plot follows Green's rise from dock worker to union chief and so on and so forth. Along the way he's got to deal with the police, ambitious gangsters and eventually becomes the target for an all out mob war.

Now being kind of an indie flick my expectations weren't as high as others but considering the local flavor I have to say it rubbed me the wrong way that none of it was filmed in Cleveland. Marvel thought we were good enough why don't you? Especially if name specific streets. Towards the end there's a point where they mention a particular intersection that I pass nearly everyday and when it didn't look like that at all well suspension of disbelief was gone.

That being said there are a few things I liked about the movie. I liked an Irish gangster and Ray Stevenson plays the fist-fighting protagonist quite well. Sadly from there I didn't find too much enjoyable for a simple reason. This movie really wanted to be Goodfellas from the voiced-over narration to the rise and fall of a notorious gangster it was all very copied.

It also doesn't help that the big name supporting cast is really underutilized especially our narrator Val Kilmer. Hint for future directors: the narrator needs to be someone we care about and like. Christopher Walken also plays a Jewish loan shark like he's still playing his drug kingpin character in King of New York which means that also stretches the suspension of disbelief.

The main reason Goodfellas was successful is that it managed to successfully characterize almost every single one of its characters and our narrator was the guy we're rooting for even though he's a bad guy. We never get inside the head of Danny Green which may be for a sense of mystery but merely telling us of this happened next doesn't make the most of the device. Everything we're told doesn't tell us anything about the person in front of us except for they did this or they did that. Adjectives help a lot here.

There are so many details that are just plain left out that would've been far more interesting judging by the wealth of knowledge in the special features. That and the ending does that irritating thing where they show us a flash of images rather than taking time to let us feel the impact of the events.

Of course the movie isn't horrible and I'm sure there will be plenty that will like it but I'll be honest I found the documentary available in the special features a lot more interesting than the film itself. So maybe redbox this flick just to check out the documentary. Also if you're a Clevelander don't feel like you need to see this. I feel like that's half the reason so many people I know have been asking about it.

Gauntlet Review 223: Source Code

2011-10-05T08:19:00.003-04:00

Science-fiction has had a tough time of it recently. Between crappy Star Wars sequels and a greater focus on space explosions that an intriguing story or premise most recent releases that could be considered science fiction could easily be thrown into the overly produced hollywood trash category. And then a couple years ago low and behold Dominic Jones came out with his indie release Moon featuring a great dual performance from Sam Rockwell, a computer voice by Kevin Spacey and a trailer that made you curious as hell. Ok it also helped that the guy is the son of David Bowie and he graduated from my college but the film certainly got and deserved praise. Now Jones is going for his first major Hollywood gig with Source Code.

Our hero, a solider named Colter Stevens, wakes up on a train. Only he doesn't recognize anything at all and the only person that recognizes him seems to think that his name is one other than his. After being confused beyond belief for a good eight minutes or so, the train blows up killing everyone including Stevens. Or so it seems. Stevens then wakes up safe and sound in a tank of sorts being asked about what he saw. After his questions become too much they finally give and tell him. What he is experiencing is a glimpse into the past and they want to use that knowledge to prevent a major terrorist attack. So now it's up to Stevens to stop the terrorist plot, hopefully break free of his confinement, and if he can, save the lives of everyone on the train.

If we were to look at this movie in a classic sci fi sense there are a number of classic themes that show up throughout this movie. Distrust of technology and authority figures that wield it is a big one. Here Stevens is constantly kept in the dark about what is going on and simply ordered over and over to find the bomber. Which in all honesty seems like the last thing a terrified individual who just got blown up for time seven would want.

However, Jones isn't one to be stuck in the staples of the genre and realizes that the best science fiction both demonstrates a sense of awe and terror when it views new technology. It was interesting in Moon how the computer is easily the first assumed villain because of his Kevin Spacey Hal styled voice when in fact that computer is far from the main villain. Likewise, our hero Stevens may be terrified by what is going on around him but the fact remains that this new technology offers him the best chance to save millions of lives.

There are a number of other elements in this movie's corner such as a great dual mystery that centers around Steven's fate and stopping the bomber and a strong lead performance from Jake Gyllenhaal and supporting actress Michelle Monaghan. The visual style isn't a revelation but the major explosion always looks good and most everything looks and feels twice as realistic as anything you'd see in Transformers. In the same vein as Limitless, the movie also has fun with the concept Groundhog Day style while still remaining true to its own plot. Oh and it was cool to see Russell Peters.

Of course there a couple of nit picks. There are a number of elements that seem unnecessary such as a minor character using arm braces to walk without any sort of explanation. Usually if that is the case there's a story behind but no we just ignore it. Maybe because people with physical hadicaps seem more evil since they order you around when they can't stand (it's a typical hollywood type). Likewise the run time is short enough that if you paid to see it in theaters you might get a little upset. I'd say this is a great one time through movie. There's no major element you'll have missed the first times and there's enough little plot twists and revelations to keep you interested until the end. Check it out if you get the chance.

Gauntlet Review 222: Limitless

2011-10-03T20:22:00.003-04:00

Pretty much from their introduction into mainstream society and likewise film the general media portrayal of drugs has been that they are bad for you. Some early films made it seem like on joint was the gateway to unintentional murder, looking at you Reefer Madness, while more modern films have delved into how it can destroy your life like Requiem For A Dream. So of course the concept of a drug that gives you the brains of Lex Luthor is going to be an interesting concept.

Our narrator and protagonist is Eddie Morra, a directionless and sloppy looking writer with severe writers block an upcoming deadline and a deteriorating personal life. So when an ex-gf's brother offers him a drug that will allow him full access to his mental potential he's a little more inclined than most to try it out. After his first encounter leads to excessive productively and a steamy encounter with a cute lady Eddie searches out his own stash of the clear pill so he can become the best version of himself. But of course side effects will rear their ugly head and plenty of people will want access to his power. Can Eddie maintain let alone survive?

Now while this movie has some faults I will say that I truly enjoyed this movie. First of all it is one of the few movies I've wanted to see in recent memory based upon the concept rather than the characters or previews. As my intro indicated a positivesque drug tale is a rare one if it's not a comedy so it's not a bad thing to see that. It also helps that the cast is strong and Bradley Cooper is a charismatic lead as always. It will always please me to see Robert DeNiro as some kind of ruthless.

Also unlike many modern dramas the filmmakers seemed to realize that they can be funny from time to time. I think that's the biggest problem with a lot of modern dramas is the breakneck pace that doesn't take time to make you laugh a little bit. The cinematography sizzles as well with plenty of color in Morra's world with the drug and the bland blueish gray of his non drug world which gives you some reasoning why you would keep coming back to the drug in the first place.

That being said there are a couple of ridiculous plot holes that are left open and there's a number of inconsistencies in terms of characterization. For instance to begin becoming a major investor Morra goes to a loan shark. Latter Morra gets a position with DeNiro's major investment mogul. How would you not check where this guy got his money especially considering his nonsensical rise from nothing to something?

There was also a big part of me that wished the movie spent more time enjoying the ride of the drug rather than the conflict surrounding it. Either that or the action should've been ramped up a little bit. Though the way Morra gets his combat skills is totally from the martial arts movie Chocolate.

There's one big lingering question that keeps following me from movie to movie however. How is it that so many people seem to get away with murder in broad daylight in public places. I understand that in a place like New York City in might be difficult but two dead bodies that aren't hidden aren't hard to find and some guy running around with a bloody knife just screams suspicious. Even a quick little newspaper article would be nice to show us that the random murder was at least discovered and is in the process of being investigated.

As mentioned this is just like complaining about your football team's defense when your team won. You'll take the win but you're looking for improvement. Likewise, check this movie out and see if you like it. Far from perfect but colorful and entertaining nevertheless.

Gauntlet Review 221: The Fighter

2011-09-27T22:56:00.002-04:00

Last Christmas my extended family got together like it always does and as we're prone to do we decided to go see a movie together. As it turned out I wanted to see True Grit while my family wanted to see the Fighter. So we went to our separate films and both came away pleased. But after seeing it rake in a ton of Oscar nominations and sweeping the supporting acting awards I thought it might be a good idea to get my hands on a copy. That and Mark Wahlberg apparently stayed in shape for years while this movie was in production hell so why not give it a shot?

Our story follows the brothers' Micky Ward and Dicky Eklund as well as their extended families. Dicky is a local legend for knocking down Sugar Ray Robinson while Micky is hoping to become a legitimate contender. Though talented Ward's family monetary needs and Dicky's drug addictions begin to threaten his career. Now debating between stability and what he needs to succeed Ward, his new girlfriend Charlene and his family try to make Micky into what Dicky never was...a champion.

Now in terms of inspirational sports stories I would say that the well was almost been sucked dry since the formula was been well worn. So to make one that's truly special it would require a number of things to make it stand out like this one does.

#1: The R-rating. It may not sound like much but the ability to curse like adults actually do brings some gravity to things. You also don't get as much realistic drug content and they're afraid of show blood in sports movies for the most part. Here you see hear and feel the intensity and the pain of everything that Ward and company are going through.

#2: Top notch acting. The acting all around is insanely strong and I will say that Bale's Oscar is well deserved not only because he steals the show for most of the movie but also because he perfectly captured the mannerisms of the real Dicky Eklund. They show a brief clip of him at the very end and have him talk in the special features and Bale has him down. Also note that everyone has the regional accent down. This might not seem like something special but if someone didn't sound right it would stick out like a sore thumb. Rounding out the supporting characters are the charged female parts from Amy Adams and Melissa Leo who also deserved her trophy.

#3:The story. I feel like most sport's movies nowadays want to focus on the first person to do something or a major obstacle that they overcome. Here it's the story of someone with talent who's really just fighting the people that got him there in the first place. So it's a spin on an old classic. It would be like if Mic from Rocky had a cocaine problem.

#4:Does it actually inspire. The answer is yes yes it does. Ward's timid nature plays perfectly to his underdog status and there's a number of poignant moments for the characters and audience alike. Of course we believe that our hero is going to win. But the fact that it doesn't even seem like he's going to make it into the ring for half the movie makes the action inside it that much more exciting.

Overall this is what you want an academy award film to be. Entertaining, inspiring, a simple but well told story, and lots of good acting. Oh and don't forget to remember that Mark Wahlberg went from Good Vibrations to producing/starring in stuff like this.

Gauntlet Review 220: Best in Show

2011-09-24T16:47:00.004-04:00

It's rare nowadays for true invention in film. It's even rarer for someone to flat out create a genre. However, that is exactly what Christopher Guest helped do when he helped created This is Spinal Tap in the form known as the mocumentary. Now the format is used by plenty of shows like the Office and Parks and Recreation and movies like Drop Dead Gorgeous. Somehow desptie being a fan of Guest's films and owning Waiting For Guffman his most acclaimed comedy Best in Show had passed me by. Setting out to rectify this and see what the fuss was about I sought out the dog show mocumentary.

Our story follows a number of dog owners who are all in competition for the day's top prize at the Westminster dog show. We have Cookie and Gerry Fleck who are an average suburban couple that are looking to win and somehow keep running into Cookie's old sexual partners. Meg and Hamilton are in a constant state of worry about their dog's emotional state. Harlan Pepper is out to prove how awesome his bloodhound is. Sherri who is obviously having an affair with her dog trainer Christy who is looking for a third strait victory. And finally we have Scott and Stefan who are a fabulous couple looking to get their Shih Tzu a win.

Now for most the mocumentary format might crash and burn but there's a reason that Guest's films are successful. First of all, he knows his cast. He almost always uses the same people (and probably should've been on my list of director actor combiations), in particular Eugene Levy and Fred Willard. Willard here is essential since the last quarter of the movie is devoted to the actual show itself rather than the characters and Willard's dry and Second City styled improv is a perfect way to keep the laughs going.

The rest of the cast is well rounded featuring familiar faces like Jane Lynch, and pairing perpetual that guys John Michael Higgins and Michael Mckean as the gay couple (well the male one).

The other thing that's nice about Guest's films is that his characters are exaggerated but sympathetic. Chances are most of us have never dated or married someone who's been around as much as Cookie has, (nor would we expect the former partners to be so explicit and graphic), but we can relate to running into an ex or a significant other's ex. It's a tightrope walk between exaggeration and subtlety.

There are also a number of advantages to the mocumentary format that Guest has learned to exploit. First of all you can jump from character to character without people losing track. This is also means that every scene break can end on a great joke. Granted if the jokes aren't that good this movie would fall flat on its face.

Next, you take advantage of your entire cast. Here there are no starring roles. Everybody is essentially a supporting role which means that no one is under utilized. Once again without a talented cast this falls on its face.

This movie is overall just plain enjoyable. The jokes keep coming throughout the entire film and the drama is constantly mocked by the ridiculousness of the characters. There's also a lot to love if you're a pet owner of any kind since you can both relate and ridicule their ridiculous treatment of their pets. It's a good time that everyone should be able to enjoy.

Gauntlet Review 219: Drive

2011-09-19T22:37:00.005-04:00

When you look at their histories you'd think that action thrillers and indie films would never really be friends. Indie films have a long history of more realistic human stories, or utter absurdity, where there's a lot of subdued drama and lots of fine acting. On the other hand the classic action thrillers and in particular car movies have all been about style rather than substance. So of course when Drive came on the scene I was immediately interested and when critics kept haling it's genre mashing I got even more interested.

Our story follows a nameless driver played by indie fav Ryan Gosling. Leading a dual life as a stunt man/mechanic by day and driver for hire by night. Rounding out his life is the promise of an actual racing gig via a mob sponsorship. Thankfully our soft spoken protagonist soon finds his life a little bit sunnier after he assists his neighbor and her son. However, when a heist he's involved with goes terribly wrong our hero must defend his new found friends from violent ends.

Now as standard if I like a movie I will get any of my complaints out of the way. Many will argue that the plot is excessively simple and it is but it's done so well you're not going to care. A couple of the music choices are questionable, crazy Swedish directors love their synth pop like everyone else in their country apparently, and there's not a huge amount of action but the budget was a mill and a half so you really can't complain. Also some folks may not like how brutal the violence gets after a tame opening but juxtaposition is never bad in my opinion.

What we have on display is a smart action thriller that actually feels realistic with exceptional acting. Of course the centerpiece is Gosling who brings enough of the steely eyed intensity you need for the hidden bad-ass and enough compassion to make him not seem like a sociopath. Also we have a stacked supporting cast featuring Ron Perlman in his usual form, Christina Hendricks in a bit part, and Bryan Cranston being Brian Cranston. But the best supporting role is Albert Brooks. A student of comedic work nearly his entire career Brooks brings about the role of a lifetime as a conflicted and brutal gangster.

There were a number of other things I liked about this movie such as a brilliant opening sequence, a couple of great car sequences, but the two biggest things were the realistic feel of the drama and a dramatic difference from its action movie counterparts. The realistic feel comes from our director's refusal to overstate the drama. Here characters don't yell at each other over everything. For instance in a Hollywood drama if someone discovers something there's usually a lot of yelling when really no yelling makes it feel more realistic and a lot more uncomfortable. The strong acting all around helps.

The differences compared to other action oriented films, and let me be the first to say there's not a ton of it as you might be led to believe, are all based on how the action is seen. It's not glamorized at all. It's downright terrifying if it's our hero or anyone else. That and to survive our hero has to be brutal. Excruciatingly so. Excessively so. And when he's in danger it feels like it's taking forever because if you're adrenaline is pumping that's exactly how it feels. That's what an action hero really feels like. He's half terrified. Also without wanting to give anything away this is one of the few movies that demonstrates a realistic reaction by a female character to the violent action's of the movie's hero.

I'll stop here for fear of giving anything away but needless to say I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It's not conventional but it's simple, brutal and entertaining and therefore exactly what I wanted it to be. Many people are saying it's a genre blend between Michael Mann and David Lynch or something. I would say that Mann has never been this good at pacing and Lynch's films are far too weird to even qualify. This is something different so I'd say check it out.

Gauntlet Review 218: The Mechanic

2011-09-13T22:06:00.004-04:00

For those familiar with Jason Statham you'll be happy to know that Statham has A) no problem being nothing but an action movie star and B) is fully aware that you don't get academy awards for making Crank 2 but it's what he likes. Because of his general bad-ass Brit demeanor and unapologetic nature I usually find the time to at least watch almost all of his movies and this one is no exception. This time we find him in rare territory with a remake of a Charles Bronson film. But then again he is cast as an assassin so there you go.

The story follows Arthur Bishop the absurdly named assassin for hire or as it is known for this particular film a mechanic. Specializing in jobs where no one is supposed to know that it's a hit Bishop finds himself in uncomfortable waters when he's asked to kill his mentor. Even further rocking the boat is his mentor's son (Ben Foster) who wants to learn to become a mechanic himself.

Now since most film critics always pride themselves on being so familiar with the original films I will take a moment to say that I have never seen the Bronson flick though I am interested in it. With an action flick I really think that all you need to worry about is the action itself.

That being said this movie takes waaaay too much time trying to set up the action. It would be one thing if they actually characterized somebody but mostly we just wanted Jason Statham in what appears to be his private life. Which is too bad because the set up for the hits are pretty brilliant. While we all might associate contract assassination to be all about flashy entrances and two pistols in your hand, this movie understands the best hitmen are the ones you never see. Of course that doesn't mean when things go wrong they won't grab guns and dive through the air.

When the movie does hit its stride the action sequences are genuinely compelling, exciting, and decently choreographed. The biggest problem is that half the time they show up just in time to worry about five to ten minutes of planning put in place. So it seems a bit sloppy.

There was also this weird element of sex scenes right after completed jobs. The motivation seems to be for no other reason to have a sex scene and a naked woman on screen for a couple of seconds but the association is at least a little strange in my mind. Oh and it needs to be noted that the ugly stereotype of a predatory gay man should probably be avoided in movies. It's just like the whole child kidnapper thing. It does exist but it's not the norm and we really need to watch what kind of images we associate on a regular basis.

That being said Statham is reliable as ever and Ben Foster who you may recognize from 3:10 To Yuma does a good job as the slightly unstable. Ok to be fair it may just be because he looks unstable right from the get go. And as always it's nice to see Donald Sutherland on-screen whenever possible. He's a great choice for mentor type roles anyways. That and the previously mentioned action did feature a nice mixture of cars, guns, hand to hand combat, and explosions.

I won't say I didn't enjoy the movie because I did but considering that it's barely a hour and thirty minutes and didn't get right to the action make a little more boring than I would prefer. Hopefully Simon West will keep this in mind when he begins filming THE EXPENDABLES 2 IT"S SOOOOO HAPPENING

Gauntlet Review 217: Dylan Dog Dead of Night

2011-09-11T14:19:00.002-04:00

As I have indicated before I don't always trust reviews. There have been well-reviewed movies that I found boring and poorly reviewed movies that I found to be stupid fun. However every now and then reviews are just too bad to be ignored. I call this my Mummy 3 lesson. Of course the third Mummy movie didn't look good but I consider the first two my ideal kind of mindless action fun (and also features Brendan Fraser in something that doesn't make me sad). The reviews came out and Rotten Tomatoes told me only fourteen percent of the critics liked it (or something like that). I ignored it and spent money on the movie.........the horror that ensued. Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh fought and I was bored to tears. Not good. The word Mummy used liked a comma in case you forgot what series it was. Never again I declared. If I see a movie like that I'll wait for the library to have it and such is the case with Dylan Dog.

Dylan Dog follows the titular character that is based on an old comic book series. According to Dylan our narrator the living dead live among us and their hub is New Orleans. In what must be years ago Dylan was the human assigned to sort out differences between them to make sure that they all got along. That way we can avoid any Underworld type blood feuds. But nowadays Dylan is just a P.I. But of course when someone brings a case to him that seems to involve the undead he can't ignore it and delves into a conspiracy to take over the world.

Now since there's so much I don't like about this movie I will say that in general I think Brandon Routh has more potential for leading roles that he's been given. Ok now the mountain of terrible things about this movie.

Since this is a play by play of how to mess up potentially good material I'm going to give you the don't do this list.

1. Don't make a movie that involves vampires, werewolves and zombies that isn't R-rated. It wasn't like this movie was a major studio release so the tame rating just seems extraordinarily out of place. Especially when you have Hollywood's three favorite R-rated monsters in the movie.

2. Don't sound exactly like another movie with similar subject matter. Here our hero and style sounds a lot like Constantine mxed with Blade. The fact that he covers similar subjects certainly doesn't help. Heck make up a new monster just for the sake of originality. I get that vampires and such are familiar but most of these movie monsters are tired and overused at this point.

3. Don't make terrible jokes throughout the entire movie. Here our comic relief is supposed to come in the form of Dylan's recently zombified friend. Sadly it's not funny if someone freaks out constantly about becoming a zombie. Once kinda of funny. Twenty times in twenty minutes really really lame.

4. Don't make your plot twists too obvious. I'm not sure if I've been ruined by movies with good plot twists or if I just look for them nowadays but I'm starting to wonder if a movie will shock me ever with a startling plot twist. Here it's pretty obvious who your villains are from the get go and even the after they tried to use a double blind I still figured out who our baddies were before they told me. Like forty minutes before they told me.

5. Actually have a decent action sequence. I cannot describe how angry I got when I watched the action sequences in this movie. They were slow, unoriginal, and boring. The worst was a lobby shootout which answered the question what would the lobby shootout from the Matrix look like if they zoomed in on Neo's face for the entire thing and it was only a minute long. Hint rampages are only cool if you can see them.

The only thing I suggest doing with this movie is setting it on fire. And that's putting it kindly.

Gauntlet Review 216: A Simple Plan

2011-09-08T15:00:00.003-04:00

As much people are aware directors tend to stick to a specific genre or type of film throughout most of their careers. John Woo's work would seem silly in anything but action films, the guys from Broken Lizard aren't likely to pull out a drama anytime soon, and Tarantino isn't going to make a PG rated film without pop culture references unless he goes insane. One those like minded directors is Sam Raimi who has had a career full of monsters and humorous horror. But for many directors there are exceptions and here's Raimi's. A movie based on the book of the same name which feels like Fargo.

The story follows Hank Mitchell a man from a small snowy town with a decent job and a pregnant wife. While out with his dim-witted brother Jacob and the town drunk Lou the three men come across a downed plane. The plane which contains a dead man being eaten by crows also features a gym bag full of $4.4 million dollars. Quickly making an agreement between themselves the men agree to hang onto the money until the spring when the plane will be discovered, and insert title here. But stress, worry and distrust run high and the three men quickly reach darker and darker territory to keep their riches.

As rare as it is I don't really have a complaint about this movie. The story is told simply but brilliantly and is a fitting moral/cautionary tale about the costs of a seemingly simple crime. I was particularly impressed with the amount of tension and twist and turns that the plot took. Just when you think the brothers are out of the woods something puts a monkey wrench into the works and means they have to make an even tougher decision than the one before it. That and they still manage to gut out characterization when the conflict surrounding the money could keep the film going by itself.

The visual style feels a lot like Fargo and the random spurts of violence that accompany it also feel familiar but not in a stealing kind of way. It makes sense to have everything feel so isolated when the lead characters are compromising their positive human traits.

In a similar vein the acting is top notch, with Bill Paxton as our troubled lead and even familiar face Gary Cole making a notable appearance. The only weak spot in the cast is the Hank's wife played by Birdget Fonda merely because she's not as well characterized. But the real standout is Billy Bob Thornton. While he doesn't get first billing he certainly deserved his Oscar nomination as the dim witted but well meaning Jacob. His character arc is both an impressive display for Thornton and utterly heart-breaking because it's played so well. This could easily have been a throwaway part but Thornton allows Jacob to be the moral center of the film.

Oh and as a sidenote I was glad that the lead character at least demonstrated some sense about the crime and the money. I won't go into too many details but a warning to all you future money finders is to make sure that no one knows it's missing.

It's not necessarily a fun tale that's told but it undoubtedly compelling and well told.

Gauntlet Review 215: Human Target Season One

2011-09-07T23:55:00.002-04:00

Oh the good series Fox has killed. Most sci-fi nerds will immediately think of Firefly while animation fans will remember that Family Guy was canceled twice before DVD sales made making the show again sound like a sound investment. And to this day Christopher Titus notes that being on the network for three seasons was a miracle. While the opening of the return of Family Guy was hilarious it's sad that all the shows they list actually got canceled after Family Guy did too. Our most recent casualty is Human Target a show I discovered just in time to find it canceled by Fox.

Human Target is an action show featuring Christopher Chance, an elite bodyguard for hire with a sordid past. While most bodyguards aim to keep their targets out of harm's way Chance puts them right in harms way so he can find the threat and take it out. Helping him out from his home office are his business partner (a former cop) and a dangerous old associate who happens to have dirt on everyone (Watchmen's Jackie Earle Haley). Together they try to keep their clients alive while also delivering quips and ridiculous action set pieces.

Now there's a lot to like here for the action viewer which I will get into later but there's a lot this series does to keep things interesting. First off, Chance is an engaging character because of his tough guy with a troubled past persona which they give hints to but never fully address until the Season One finale. The side characters are equally amusing as played by Chi McBride and the previously mentioned Earley. The writers also use different narrative styles and don't always feel inclined to tell a linear story which is refreshing on a show where the concept is this guy is here to save your life.

And then we hit the action scenes. Now there's a number of ridiculous stuff they have chance do like flipping a jet airliner, or zip lining down a cable car line. It's all done admirably and we're almost guaranteed to get a decent explosion in every episode. But a combat junkie like me the fighting is the real centerpiece of the show. While TV tends to lack the same kind of combat of movies this show always give us a thrilling hand to hand combat sequence at least once per episode. The fighting is also especially noteworthy because it feels so real. It's fast furious and is fondly reminiscent of the Bourne series in terms of all out combat. And while it might irritate me others will like that the one on one fights tends to maintain tension even though we're certain our hero will win. The only thing I don't like is the hero winning by divine intervention or picking up a rock and using it like a weapon. I'd much rather him be the better fighter. It's a typical American action movie thing.

Aside from the here or there episode that seems to lack as much action as others I don't have too much to complain about for me. Heck Firefly fans can note the use of the guy who played Simon in one episode. That and the sense of humor keeps things light enough to never keep you that worried for the hero's well being. It's nice to see a bunch of sarcastic action heroes rather than the macho eighties type. Add up a cadre of femme fatales and damsels and you've got a great guy show.

All in all you've got a solid show for action fans that's held together with its interesting characters and sense of humor that seems to indicate they are fully aware of how ridiculous the stuff they do is. Did I mention they flip a commercial airliner in one episode?

Top 5 Things That Will Kill Your Opinion of A Movie Before You See It

2011-09-06T20:50:00.004-04:00

Being the perpetual movie watcher that I am I have found that there a number of things that are increasingly frustrating about how my opinion of a movie can be changed before I even see it. Of course half the time you don't even realize that you've been jaded until about halfway through or after you started getting mad that you paid money to see something terrible or at the very least that you didn't like. So in order to help my fellow man avoid these problems I am giving you the top five things to watch out for.

#5: Too much optimism. This one I will refer to as primarily a sequel or remake problem. As the trend tends to be when one likes the first in a series they are overtly excited for the second installment for whatever the reason. You'll follow news of the casting decisions and watch every trailer and even watch the Comic-con interviews with exclusive footage. And then it actually comes out and you're crushed. They took your beloved series and decided to spend 200 million dollars on a really mediocre/bad movie. For me the true heartbreaker was Spiderman 3. The series looked nothing but promising until out of nowhere Sam Raimi decided one primary villain wasn't enough and that emo haircut somehow equals bad-ass. And because I'm such a Spidey fan I fell for it hook line and sinker. And the horror...the horror that followed....

#4: Trailers/Marketing. While of course a number of factors will influence whether or not you will see a movie before it comes out trailers are now a huge part of modern day marketing. No longer confined to the movie theater, they play constantly on the computer, on TV and often on your new DVD and Blu-ray releases. This also means that if the trailer lies to us then you will be ready to go ape on the marketing people if they happen to be within a fifty foot radius during the movie. Now as I and numerous other film folks have indicated many trailers go for misdirection and it's often easy to note the trend of making a thriller look like an action movie etc. But for those of you who are new to this watch for the following in the trailers to see why they will screw you.

A. Too much focus on what appears to be one scene. This is usually an action scene within a drama. Look for it being the same time of day and gunshots in a movie about a reporter or something.

B.A look at the movie's best moments. This is hard to figure out but if the movie has multiple trailers and they all focus on the same two cool shots....it means there aren't anymore.

C. Too much of the ending. Being the visually oriented person I am I tend to memorize what I see so if I see a trailer more than once and it shows me the ending....guess what I'm waiting for that moment. Even if you kill a character if I saw them in a different image from the trailer I'll be waiting for them to come back

#3:The "must-see" or "classic" status. While this tends to go for older movies the must see label from critics and friends alike will often make you think you're about to watch the best movie you've ever seen. You watch it it isn't and you're furious at everyone who said you would love it. Personally I call this the Boondock Saints Syndrome (hence the picture). While by no means a terrible movie I was told that this movie would be the second coming of Quentin Tarantino through a John Woo filter. Instead I got the F word used in Irish accents, a whole lot of racism andhomophobia that I was supposed to gloss over, mixed into some decent shootouts. As a result I still chuckle when people refer to the first movie as a classic even though I know it's the same thing a snob movie critic would do. And speaking of snob critics.....

#2: Critics. Whether your like them or hate them movie critics do to some extent influence whether or not people will see movies. Now in many cases it need not matter like Transformers. People like their giant robots fighting regardless of how mindless it is. The real problem with critics is that half of them are film people. And by film people I mean that they will look at the technical aspects of a Kevin Smith movie rather than asking is it funny. This especially becomes a problem when they give movies the seal of approval even though they might be boring as all anything and pan movies you would have had stupid fun with otherwise. I don't care if the Expendables didn't have a good plot did you see that explosion? Oh and critics are also notorious for saying the end of the plot twist will blow your mind which means you're searching for it the whole time.

Critics by nature are overly opinionated and have a tendency to really like certain actors and directors just like we do except they get paid for it and influence the masses. For instance, I tend to keep up with movie reviews from Peter Travers because his personal opinion tends to match mine. Unless it's a Michael Mann film. Dear God does Peter Travers love Michael Mann. This is a guy that said Miami Vice was exciting throughout the entire thing when I thought that really should've read for about ten minute towards the end.

In the other direction some critics seem obsessed with getting their name out. I'll pick on Shawn Edwards here. While I'm sure he's got his likes and dislikes like any other guy every now and then a really bad movie will come out and no sensible film reviewer will give it a second look. Enter Shawn Edwards who puts out a ridiculous statement like the Resident Evil series keeps getting better and better after the fourth installment with unnecessary 3d comes out. Sorry Shawn that is not the case.

#1: You and Your Environment. While this may seem to be a rehash the whole too much optimism this has more to do with personal biases and the things around us. Since detailing all of this in paragraph form will be a chore I'm gonna make a list of questions and what their answers mean for you and how it can kill the movie.

Did you read the book/comic book? This is bad because you know every detail that's missing and will constantly complain that it isn't as good as the book. Get over it movies are three hours long when they're pushing it.

Do you have actors/directors that you love/hate? Every actor and director makes ventures into genres they have no business being in. See Jim Carrey in Number 23. If you love them and flock to see all their work you're doomed.

Come here with friends that weren't as excited as you? Their influence will poison your movie going experience. You're a sheep unless this thing is beyond amazing you'll notice all the flaws they point out.

Is there one thing in a movie you can't stand? While not every movie will test your comfort zone if you hate puking and it's a joke that happens over and over? You'll hate it.

Did you pick this movie cause a friend recommended it and only read the exciting stuff they said on the box? No information is almost as bad as too much. Heck straight to DVD releases featuring Val Kilmer look decent under those circumstances. By the way he's let himself go a bit.

Are you chemically altered in anyway? Cause I'll be honest certain movies you won't be able to get through otherwise.

Do you like awkward situations? No? too bad cause this comedy is full of them!

Do you like realistic shootouts? My answer is hell no but the director thought hell yeah!

The list could go on for forever. The solution to all of this? I'd try the following.

1. Remain undecided on a movie even if you're excited try to contain it.

2. Watch the trailer once and only once.

3. Don't see something just because it's a must see. Confirm elements of it that you would like.

4. First a reviewer you trust and isn't prone to giving away plot details.

5. Leave expectations at the door.

Songs That Can Never Be Used In A Movie or TV Show Again.

2011-09-03T19:01:00.006-04:00

One of the trademarks of modern cinema and television is the usage of modern music and rock tracks as the soundtrack. Sadly like any good thing over indulging will catch up with you eventually and some of my favorite rock songs have be overused to the point of irritation. In response to this I have created a list of songs that shouldn't be used ever again. Hopefully Hollywood will take notice or inspire a sequel to this list.

Songs #1/#2: "Gimme Shelter" and "Sympathy For the Devil" by the Rolling Stones.

Offenders: Fallen, Righteous Kill, Departed, Goodfellas, Layer Cake, Tropic Thunder, Casino, and Air America.

Common Usage: Drug Fantasies, Introductions & Conclusions

Story:

To be fair you can't entirely blame modern film directors for using one of the prolific bands in rock history. However there's no reason to use the same two songs over and over to capture the right mood to start your film. Martin Scorsese is probably the biggest offender her as he's used both songs and Gimme Shelter in the three of his gangster flicks.

Recommendation: Use a different stones song or find something else with eerie vocals at the beginning.

Song #3: "Sweet Home Alabama" By Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Offenders: Anything taking place in the south.

Common Usage: Character arrives that is from the south, character heads down south, northerner enters southern bar.

Story: While Skynyrd's song seems to the signature southern pride song it seems that every movie andTV director really wants to use it as well. Sadly this song is overplayed to begin with so playing it in your movie is a lot like hearing Smoke on the Water or any old Lady Gaga on the radio. It's just useless overkill.

Recommendation: Take advantage of other southern rock groups of even other Skynyrd song's EXCEPT FOR FREE BIRD!

Song #4: "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

Offenders: An ungodly number of comedies

Common Usage: Usually used for comedic purposes during what is supposed to be a hot and heavy scene between two of the lead characters.

Story: It's sad that what was once a breakthrough song about passionate love making has now been assigned the duty of being the background music during a humorous sex scene. Typically it's played right before something awkward happens between two of the love interests and the needle scratching the record sound is made. As it stands the modern usage of this song means that it will almost always be associated with laughs.

Notable Exception: High Fidelity. While it was used for comedic purposes once again it's the misdirection that made this a hilarious and well placed music choice.

Recommendation: The pace of Gaye's other notable love making song "Sexual Healing" is slow enough to counteract it's blatant lyrics. And Barry White has enough songs is his catalog to give you hilarious sex scenes for the rest of your life.

Song #5: "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett

Offenders: Any movie featuring an offbeat character usually female when they're doing something that society would frown upon.

Story:This one is as overplayed as others but that might be because sometimes they get other artists to do the song. Still every time a bad girl type shows up this song accompanies it as well. Half the time I don't even mind but after being used in everything from action movies to teen comedies it's time to give it a rest. They used it in Shrek for crying out loud.

Notable Exception: Kick-Ass. Hit Girl's rampage needed a proper rock cut to go with her hallway rampage against mob thugs and Bad Reputation suited it perfectly. Heck the gun shots seemed to be in rhythm.

Recommendation: Check out other girl rockers or go with songs by the Runaways.

Songs That Have Yet To Be Overused But Shouldn't Be Used Again Regardless

"Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds: Breakfast Club has this one on lockdown and the song's eighties sound should mean that it is safe from future usage but considering the eighties kick that movies are on we should always be wary.

"Twist & Shout" by the Beatles: John Hughes worked his magic again with Ferris Bueller and I can honestly say I can't hear this song and not think of a parade full of Chicago citizens dancing like fools. The classic rock status of this song however makes it an easy target.

"Shout" by Isley Brothers/Otis Day & the Knights: Animal House had the signature use for nearly two decades but Wedding Crasher's relatively recent usage was also appropriate and arguably equally hilarious. Due note however that Crasher's version of Shout was a remix of sorts that at least changed the sound of the song a bit.

"C'est La Vie" by Chuck Berry: In a movie full of dynamite music this is easily the easiest to associate with an actual event from the movie and hear it's the bumbling sexual tension between John Travolta and Uma Thurman during a very G-rated twist contest.

"Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry: Technically it was played and sung by someone else but this is Chuck Berry's song. The usage is Back to the Future was brilliant in terms of finding a song that really cooks and the Marvin Berry joke. It also featured the lead character letting loose on electric guitar in true Berry style before making a fool of himself.

Gauntlet Review 214: It's Kind Of A Funny Story

2011-09-03T18:26:00.003-04:00

Being a teenager is really hard. At least that's what I've learned from movies. It's an awkward time to be sure but Hollywood seems to be in constant state of trying to capture what kids are going through nowadays. Or everyone is trying to be John Hughes. Nowadays stuff like the Twilight series and Harry Potter seem to capture everyone's growing up experience and anything that tries to cover actual real human beings is pretty much unbelievable. Thankfully the indie scene is always there to give us some offbeat looks at our teenage years.

Our kind of funny story follows Craig, a teen at a prominent New York prep school who's life is stressful enough that he thinks about committing suicide. Now believing himself to be in real danger he forces his way into the adult psychiatric ward. While at first blown away by the ward's patrons Craig manages to use his require week long stay as a time of self-discovery.

Now while this movie isn't going to break any new ground there was a lot that I liked about this movie. First is that it's the first psych ward I've seen that's been portrayed by Hollywood with any sense of care and sympathy ever. In fact everyone who works there and lives there seems pretty nice. Cracked.com would love to see this.

The cast is also incredibly strong featuring a deeper than expected performance from funnyman Zach Galifinakis and other side players such as this summer's unexpected star Viola Davis (The Help) and Jim Gaffigan who always seems to play these non-speaking jerk types in indie films.

Of course there are some flaws such as the movie isn't as funny as would hope considering the plot and setting and that it really feels like baby's first experience with One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. It also didn't help that Craig's friends outside of the ward seem to be jerks as well as his family.

However, the faults of the film are overcome by it's honesty. Craig while clearly a bit disturbed in a teenage way is a fish out of water and gets to see that his problems are really small compared to the other members of the ward rather than say relating to everyone. He also shows off the results of our constant extra curricular youth culture and the constant pressure that is present for nearly every teen. And thankfully it's not some sort of overly oppressive father or anything like that. It's just that his parents are pushing for things he may not want.

Add in some good one liners and a lack of mellowdrama and you get the kind of indie film I can enjoy. Make me laugh, relate to me and feature some actors in roles you wouldn't expect. It might only be kind of funny but it's still plenty enjoyable.

Oh and as much I like the song "Under Pressure" it is a bit overused in movies so it's time to retire it.

Gauntlet Review 213: Born on the Fourth of July

2011-08-31T10:00:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure if anyone else realized this but movies in the late eighties were obsessed with the Vietnam war. With enough time passed that the subject wasn't still sore to Americans or perhaps it was even forgotten everyone from Kubrick to Sylvester Stallone offered up their takes on Vietnam. Easily one of the more poignant vocies was Oliver Stone who gave his grim portrayal of soldiers' lives in Platoon. However most people forget that he made a trio of films including the oft-forgotten Heaven & Earth and Born on the Fourth of July. While nowadays a Tom Cruise fueled Vietnam vehicle sounds illogical I decided to check it out.

Tom Cruise plays our protagonist Ron Kovic. Young and eager to serve his country and fight commies Kovic volunteers for the Marines and is sent to Vietnam. However like so many young men that went to fight, his time in Vietnam leaves Kovic mentally scared and physically incapacitated. Now paralyzed from the mid-chest down Ron struggles to find his place in the world when his former values don't match his experience.

Now like any decent filmmaker covering a similar subject we have to address the elephant in the room. While it may have featured some stock characters and a bit of exaggeration Platoon will still hold more pure emotional impact that this film. The signature image of the soldier throwing up his hands as he is killed is just far too poignant to ignore. But that isn't to say that Born on the Fourth of July isn't very very good.

Here Cruise's youthful intensity is pitch perfect for the role of Kovic from high school jock to embittered veteran. And to be fair this is really his show from the get go. No other character stays on-screen long enough to be considered anything but a supporting character so without a decent performance the movie would trip over itself and not work. It should also be noted that Cruise also handles the character's transformation admirably which can be difficult considering it's pretty much a complete one eighty.

Now not having been there myself or getting shot I would say this is probably the best example of a wounded Vietnam vet's experience that I have seen on film up to this point. Please note the number of words indicating this is merely based upon what I have seen and nothing else. But it starts with him being young and enthusiastic and eager to prove himself worthy. Then in Vietnam we see the loss of innocence. The hospital sequence in particular offers up a stark portrayal of the military hospitals at the time. After that comes the down turn which shows Kovic getting more and more embittered towards the people who don't understand where he's coming from.

While Stone almost always has clear political agendas in his films he at least presents both sides to the Vietnam argument over and over. Men like Kovic when they came back were both hailed for being heroes, used as examples as to why we should fight the good fight, accused of killing children, inspired political protests and personally fought against further action against Vietnam. At one point Kovic will say that this is America love it or leave it and next he'll argue with a Marine from Iwo Jima who says that you failed so get over it. It's a varied experience to be sure.

Of course like any Oliver Stone film there are a few things to complain about. Much like Platoon the black supporting characters come across as racist caricatures rather than people and the love interest (young Kyra Sedwick) seems a bit of a forced plot point as well. A number of other critics say that the end makes it seem like all Vietnam vets just need to write books and they'll be fine. I would say that this is one man's story and you're just looking for complaints. If someone sees this they should treat all veterans with the utmost respect.

Regardless this isn't an easy journey to be taken on but still one that's worth your time. Remember "Born in the U.S.A." was written about men like Kovic so don't play it at fireworks shows this year.

Gauntlet Review 212: Tron Legacy

2011-08-27T11:38:00.003-04:00

Sequels are a tricky thing. You've typically gotta take things up a notch, improve the special effects, introduce a new character, and keep fans of the original happy by not screwing up the concept they liked in the first place. That gets a whole lot more difficult when the first one was made over twenty years ago. The original Tron, for those of you in need of a film history lesson, was a moderate hit for Disney in the eighties that followed a computer programmer fighting for survival inside a computer system that was set up like a city. Since then the film has gathered a large cult following. So does lightening strike twice? Let's find out

Our story follows Sam Flynn, the son of Kevin Flynn the lead from the first film. After detailing Kevin's disappearance and a brief overview of the previous film, were are set in the present day where Sam plays pranks of his father's company to keep his legacy of free technology and interaction intact. After being told about a page from his father's old lab Sam aims to seek his father out. Soon he finds himself fighting for his life within the computer world his father created against a younger and evil version of his father and his minions. Now what was a rescue mission becomes an escape attempt as Sam aims to get back into the real world.

Now since this movie lies right about in the middle of good and bad I'll go on to detail this fight in my brain as point/counter point.

Point: The movie looks amazing. This is for certain. I mean the graphics for the original were semi-revolutionary and they've really kicked it up a notch. Everything looks great and the younger Jeff Bridges thing was done pretty well too. I'm thinking eventually they'll just keep actors and actresses at their prime for the rest of their lives and we'll never be the wiser until the red carpet.

Counter-Point: The atmosphere from the graphics feels bleak. I know it's a typical sci-fi thing to make you feel alone and oppressed by technology but this movie suffers greatly from the Matrix shading problem. In the Matrix the real world is blue hued and doesn't feature a lot of light. However that helps the contrast of the green and brighter Matrix world. Here there's no contrast. All we have in villains in orange and heroes in white light. If there was a computer sun that would make things feel a little nicer. Even the scenes in the real world take place at night.

Point: The action scenes are pretty exciting. While not being as big and bombastic as other modern action films the movie features enough exciting set pieces to keep you interested. I'm also always a fan of the hero who happens to be great in combat for no particular reason. Here he seems in shape but that's about it. Also the glory of making someone explode into pieces when they hit the trail from your light cycle never goes out of style.

Counter Point: The plot is just kinda slap dash and crap. This one is the biggest problem with the whole movie. There were a lot of ways that the plot could go. It could've gone for unlikely love story. It could have gone for father-son redemption. It could have gone for the fight for our lives kind of thing. But instead they mashed them all together. It's pretty sloppy which means that there's no real emotional weight to almost anything that happens in the movie.

There are a number of other points I could rave or nit pick about like the fact that Jeff Bridges primary character is built up but never actually fights anything despite entering like a ninja in one scene. Oh and it's never good form to make the guy who's going to betray you look like someone who is going to betray you. It kinda spoils the fun of guessing. But the action scenes are impressive for PG movie oh man. Overall it's decent fun but if you think about it too long you'll doubt you enjoyed it that much. But check it out and see if it's for you.

Gauntlet Review 211: Drive Angry

2011-08-24T22:56:00.005-04:00

As many movie fans such as myself have continuously pointed out Nicolas Cage is one of the true hit or miss actors of our generation. There's either brilliance or utter stupidity. For instance we have Kick-Ass or Bad Lieutenant where his eccentricity in an asset and then we have this movie which reminds me what grindhouse movies look like when they forget why we're there.

Our story follows John Milton (and that's the classiest reference this movie will contain by the way don't think I didn't notice that), a resident bad-ass who just so happened to escape from hell recently. As it turns out he is intent on finding a cult leader who killed her daughter and stole her newborn baby. Oh and he wants to bring hell on earth so it would be great it we could go for a package deal. Now with the law angry cult members and a member of Satan's entourage looking to take him down Milton teams up with blonde firecracker Piper to accomplish his goals.

Now before I get into the whole why this movie isn't so great I will explain what the grindhouse movie should feature and where this movie succeeds and doesn't succeed. Most folks only reference will only be Planet Terror and Death Proof so we'll use those as the blue print.

Rule #1: Make your action scenes exciting and a bit ridiculous. While Death Proof took it's time wading through Tarantino dialogue to get to the car chase at the end the car chase itself was a thing a retro beauty. Planet Terror on the other hand featured enough crazy action sequences to make any fan of bullets and explosions happy. Here we have a few decent sequences and I'll admit the final showdown was pretty exciting but there's only a few exciting moments in the rest of the movie that's supposed to feature old school thrills.

Rule #2: Embrace the ridiculous. Here this movie tries really hard a number of times to be ridiculous during it's fight scene or after it or whenever. However it's only truly successful about once or twice. A gun fight during sex has been done in Shoot'Em Up and it was way faster and more exciting. Also someone just shooting their gun while standing in place also lacks excitement. Planet Terror had a girl with a machine gun for a leg. That's the right idea.

Rule #3: Go to extremes. While these first two seem to be hand in hand with the first this more goes with stuff like the dialogue and plot. There should be quotable lines that are soo bad they're funny or the plot devices should be so deus ex machina you'd believe a thunderbolt from Zeus will be coming down to save the hero. Sadly I've forgotten any line I found amusing and they seemed to be more interested in giving their version of hell than anything else.

Now this is not to say I completely hated everything about this movie. I didn't. But when a movie is called Drive Angry you'd think that there would be a car killing people with flames shooting out of it. Seriously how much would that have cost? Sadly all we're left with is the version of Nicolas Cage that seems to be on autopilot and director more interested in using 3-D than making an original looking action sequence. It's a waste too because the concept was pretty fun. Let's hope Hobo With A Shotgun lives up to its hype.

Gauntlet Review 210: The Warrior's Way

2011-08-24T00:53:00.003-04:00

Believe it or not the western and samurai style flicks have a lot in common. Their heroes are great warriors. They often end in dramatic final showdowns. Their women are constantly in need of rescue in order to prevent them from being victimized. The leads may often lack names and some morals but they are always somehow more human that their adversaries. But rarely have you seen the two elements put together. Until recently that is. Nowadays movies like Sukiaki Western Jango seem to be coming out every couple of years featuring bullets and swords alike. So now it's America's turn to try and blend the genres.

Our story follows a nameless (for the time being) swordsman. After training his whole life to become the best and successfully killing his rival the swordman takes pity on his enemies daughter and brings her with him. Why? Cause that's what hardened killers with hearts of gold do. Of course this greatly angers his clan that's aim to kill every last one of their sworn enemy. So our hero heads to the American west where he knows a dry cleaner (one of a great many stereotypes in this movie). However he cannot escape his past and the town's own sordid history means our swordsman will have to defend his new friends from harm.

Now as my Sucker Punch review indicated an action movie doesn't really have the same standards as high dramas in my opinion. The true measure is can I tolerate the plot long enough to make it between the action sequences. Sadly this movie failed to go to the Joel Silver school of action movie making where you have at least one sequence every 15-20 minutes. The opening is pretty fun and seems to go for the supernatural school of swordplay and then the trip to America.

While it's admirable to show our hero learn to appreciate people and things that aren't slicing through people with sharp things after the fun opening it feels like a let down. Especially when they start drawing out the whole love interest and her revenge sub-plot. It also doesn't help that Kate Bosworth sounds like Addo Annie in her high school production of Oklahoma (and trust me I was Will Parker in high school). And since they're trying to prevent their Korean action star from saying too many lines (though his english was fine) she talks aaaaallllllll the time. It's hard to like her when she doesn't shut up.

Now all of this is a shame because the final twenty minutes are genuinely exciting and feature a nice combination of gun/sword play. I'm also glad that this movie decided machine guns would be useful against ninjas. Not saying the best of ninjas wouldn't find a way to avoid that but they weren't supernatural beings. It was also fun to see Geoffrey Rush slumming it up as the town drunk.

However whatever praise I can give the actions scenes is pretty much taken away from a ton of stereotypes. First one, umm they had to make his shop a laundry mat. I know they might be going for either historical accuracy or a sort of tongue in check kind of thing but it still didn't seem right to make our Asian hero the local laundry man. The second one comes in the form of the vengeful damsel. Now I liked that she was trained by the hero and gets all riled up and tries to act tough. But the best tough girls actually demonstrate some sort of compentence in the thick of combat. Without givign anything away she just seems reeeeaaally reaaally lucky.

There's no denying there's some dumb fun to be had and those who are fans of the whole fish out of water scenario will enjoy this. However the attempts to blend the two genres either contradict or get in each other's way and the middle is far to slow for was promoted as an action extravaganza. To be fair they do make a couple of jokes about each genre so that's something. Check it out if you get a chance but it's not a buy now scenario. See if first and see if you like it enough.

Gauntlet Review 209: The Negotiator

2011-08-23T01:44:00.003-04:00

Considering that they tend to be in very different kinds of movies it's kind of amazing that Kevin Spacy and Samuel L. Jackson ended up being in two movies together in two years. The first would be the courtroom drama A Time To Kill and the second is the Negotiator that features a face off between two hot shot hostage negotiators. And since admitting that a movie is a thriller/drama and not an action movie seems to be a faux-pas I thought I'd revisit one I liked.

Our story follows Danny Roman (Jackson), a revered hostage negotiator who has just come off a successful crises. Much to his dismay his best friend and colleague indicates he knows that there are people stealing from their disability fund and that the men that did are amongst them. Agreeing to meet later Roman is shaken but ignores it. Until of course his friend ends up murdered and he's the prime suspect. Now on a path that leads to nowhere but jail Roman becomes the police force's worst nightmare by taking hostages with full knowledge of their tactics.

As I mentioned in my prologue I did enjoy this movie and think this is a very strong thriller for a number of reasons. The first is the acting. Jackson and Spacey make a dream team when it comes to face off and their differing styles meld well with one another. It's also nice to see plot driven dialogue that isn't incredibly forced and feels natural for the two people involved. Go figure I actually liked the movie more when I cared about the two major leads because they were endearing. Huh. Rounding out the cast are the oft reliable David Morse and Paul Giamatti in a comic relief type role.

The second reason I liked this movie is that it provides the viewer with two related plot lines to worry about. The first in this case is will Roman make it out of this alive/unharmed and the second being who is responsible for his framing? This same method is used in the Fugitive. Guy trying to escape a manhunt pretty interesting. Make that guy trying to escape a manhunt while solving a mystery even better.

The final reason I liked this movie is that it isn't ashamed of being a thriller. Even good thrillers like the previously mentioned Fugitive seem to feel a need for a major showdown involving a fist-fight or a shootout. Here the shootouts are actually for the sake of plot rather than we need to wrap this up let's have a gun fight. It also doesn't hurt this movie that I saw absolutely no trailers beforehand because chances are they would play this up like the action was non-stop.

Of course there are some weaknesses to the movie. Some of the plot twists seem a bit unnecessary and the movie does have a longer than desired running time. Also as much as I like Samuel L. there is no reason that he needed to have orangish hair. Seriously it's really weird looking almost to the point of being distracting. Spacey's hair is normal it's not tinted blonde because that would be strange.

All weird hair aside if you're in the mood for a cop thriller this isn't a bad place to start. It's not terribly original in terms of a falsely accused man trying to take the men who framed him down.....Ok maybe this movie is a lot like the Fugitive with an R-rating but I really liked the Fugitive so give this one a whirl if the Jackson/Spacey combo sounds interesting. In a world filled with thrillers pretending to be action movies it's nice to see two lead characters that are actually interesting.

Gauntlet Review 208: Sucker Punch

2011-08-22T00:16:00.005-04:00

Zach Synder has had a fan boy's dream career when it comes to movie making. First he gets to remake the classic Dawn of the Dead with zombies that run at a dead sprint. Next comes his often parodied adaptation of Frank Miller's 300 which inspired frat guys everywhere to chant like Marines for no particular reason. Then he filmed the graphic novel that was impossible to film and put out the big screen adaptation to the seminal graphic novel Watchmen. And now just around the corner we have his update of Superman in the Man of Steel. However like any great career there's gonna be an odd man out and in this case we have Sucker Punch. Though it seemed to feature Snyder's signature slow mo violence most critics claimed the story couldn't hold up. And to that I said since when does story matter? Didn't you see 300 it was awesome! However still wary I waited until the library had a copy.

Our story follows Babydoll, a young woman who's family was torn apart after her mother dies and her father kills her sister. Now being institutionalized and threatened with a lobotomy, Babydoll is now desperate to get out at any cost. Using her incredible imagination Babydoll finds a way to express her emotions through dance which she manifests as violence fueled fantasies that also happen to bring her closer to escape. Now with the other girls of the institution at her side Babydoll works to get the items they'll need to escape while avoiding the suspicions of a violent orderly.

Now before we get into this I want it to be noted that I desperately wanted to like this movie. I've liked all of Snyder's other work and his action sensibilities are quite high which endears him to me. However this movie is just a bit crap. First let's get the stuff you might like out of the way. Some of the action scenes do excite and the fantasy sections of the movie feature some impressive choreography. This is also the problem. The rest of the movie is hella boring.

While the story is trying and failing to get us very involved, me as the viewer who was promised a visual feast of fantasy got bored waiting for sexy girls shooting more zombies with guns. Anytime that isn't happening there's a lot of clunky dialogue and stiff acting from almost everyone. Our lead Emily Browning who played a very similar role years ago in A Series of Unfortunate Events and does her job admirably but no one else is interesting.

It also doesn't help that Babydoll as a character doesn't have much to live for on the outside. She has her life sure but it would've been great character motivation to keep her sister alive and have a desire to kill her abusive step father. Here it's just I must get free. Oh and guessing the major plot twist from the trailer doesn't help anything. It just meant that as I approached the end of the movie I just kept hoping it skipped to it rather than dragging it out.

Sadly this movie really comes across like Pan's Labyrinth as imagined by a fifteen year old boy. That movie understood that if the fantasy and the real world could actually meld together in realistic ways in might be easier to shift between the two. Notice they also had proper motivations to drive the young protagonist. Here the shifts are so jarring that you can't really see how her violent fantasy translates into her dancing. Which is a shame because the action scenes are well choreographed and gloriously over the top. They also show that Zach Snyder has the capability to make action scenes without including slow mo CGI blood.

It's a decent concept sure but without a more refined script it just falls flat on the floor. As awesome as it is to see a girl with a samurai sword take out a stone samurai with a Gattling gun while flying through the air in slow motion I would like it better if this happened to be a live action anime rather than a supposed dance. Seriously why did it have to be dancing?!

Top Five Underrated Actor/Director Combinations

2011-08-20T09:47:00.004-04:00

In recent movie history there are certain director actor combinations that almost everyone is familiar with. Scorsese has had most of his seminal work with Robert DeNiro and now pumps out a film with Leo Dicaprio once every couple of years. Likewise, Bruce Campbell will almost always show up in a Sam Raimi movie with his signature chin after their Evil Dead series which spanned a full decade to make. Even guys who aim for major blockbusters like Tony Scott end up working with folks like Denzel Washington on a constant basis. This one goes out to modern combinations you might not know as well.

The criteria is as follows. Each actor must be at least three times for the same director. No particular order.

#5: David O. Russel & Mark Wahlberg for The Fighter, Three Kings, & I Heart Huckabees

Considering that O. Russel isn't exactly the most favored guy in hollywood and has only made a small number of films it's kind of amazing that he's managed to work with the same guy three times let alone be invited to direct his personal project.

In fact when Three Kings was originally released it seemed that there was more focus on O. Russell's very public fist-fight with George Clooney, which of course Clooney won handily. But somehow Russell has gotten the best out of Wahlberg. Three Kings could easily be noted as Wahlberg's first serious role (aside from Boogie Nights but he played a porn star) and gave him a chance to show off some range as the film's moral compass. Likewise, I Heart Huckabees gave him a chance to be ridiculous and hilarious while Russell verbally abused Lily Tomlin, noticing a trend yet?

And somewhat perfectly he ended up directing Wahlberg's pet project The Fighter where I'm sure he and Christian Bale got along famously. While the movie didn't earn Wahlberg any acting accolades Russell's direction got the film an academy award nomination for best picture and got two Oscars for the movies supporting actors. Likewise many people believed that Wahlberg was slightly snubbed but it was a full category that year anyways. Turns out some people like to keep a bully around.

#4 Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman for Unforgiven, Invictus, & Million Dollar Baby

In terms of Hollywood reliability you don't get much better in terms of Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman. But when Oscars get involved every time the two of you get together it's worth noting. While Freeman has only been the lead for Eastwood once in Invictus it should be noted that the first two times Eastwood's film got the award for Best Picture.

While starring in Unforgiven as Eastwood's right hand man and reformed gun hand Ned, Freeman gave the movie a moral compass and later justification for Will Munny's furious rampage at the film's close. I'll also note that it was nice to see an African American actor involved in a western besides Blazzing Saddles as someone noteworthy.

Million Dollar Baby worked out well for both men as well since Eastwood notched another Best Picture win and Freeman got the Oscar he deserved about ten years previous for the Shawshank Redemption. This time Eastwood also took notice of the trend that people liked Morgan Freeman narrating from time to time.

And finally Invictus. While by no means is this the strongest film they've had together it's an admirable story to tell and reviewers like Robert Ebert agreed that Morgan Freeman was born to play Nelson Mandela.

#3 Wes Anderson & Half of his cast for Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, Royal Tennebaums, Life Aquatic, Darjeeling Limited, & Fantastic Mr. Fox

With a guy who reuses cast members as frequently as Wes Anderson it's difficult to pick just one person. There of course is Jason Swartzman who probably owes his entire film career to his role in Rushmore since he's played similarly sarcastic roles ever since. Owen and Luke Wilson have been reliable mainstays even if in bit parts and it should ALWAYS be noted that Owen Wilson was half of the writing team for Anderson's best work.

But what is perhaps Anderson's greatest achievement is earning fans out of established actors. Anjelica Houston has nothing to prove after her Oscar win but still has teamed with Anderson three times including arguably his strongest work the Royal Tennenbaums. Oh but of course we're forgetting somebody.

Bill Murray. While his brilliance has never been underestimated by myself and the staff of Cracked.com most critics knew him as a strong comedic actor and not much else. And then came Rushmore. In once fell swoop critics were introduced to a Bill Murray who was funny but also pensive and a little bit sad. It would be a mistake to say that Lost In Translation would have been made with Bill Murray with movies like Rushmore. Anderson is clearly a fan too since Murray has been involved in every movie he's directed since then.

#2 Christopher Nolan and Michael Caine For Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Prestige, & Inception.

While no one would argue these two are like combining Sidney Lumet and Al Pacino (that's for Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon by the by) Their work together has been rather impressive.

First we have the Batman films in which Nolan thankfully understood that Batman's living father figure needs to have some depth to it and be a little more involved in the process aside from sarcastic quips and bringing in tea (though both are still important). Caine has filled the role admirably and seems to be the character that challenges Bruce Wayne to remember his role and guide his path. Regardless of if his parenting skills are questionable.

Caine's role in the Prestige is also essential since he gives the two lead characters their first job. He is the man behind the two characters who seems to know all of the tricks which makes it all the more poignant when even he can't figure things out or feels a line has been crossed. I also liked that Nolan used him as a narrator briefly and I'll admit I'd be up for more movies narrated by Michael Caine.

And of course if something works why not do it again? Caine's role in Inception is minimal but once again he's there to provide incentive and moral challenges to our main character. Caine's career has always been impressive and it's nice to see him get recognized in big American blockbusters nowadays.

#1 Robert Rodriguez and nearly actor you can imagine that speaks Spanish. For Desperado, Once Upon A Time in Mexico, Spy Kids, From Dusk Till Dawn, & Machete.

While by no means would I call Robert Rodriguez the signature voice of Latin-American cinema he should really be noted for getting Latin-American actors involved in his movies. It's nice considering Hollywood's tendency to white wash its movies.

First we have Antonio Banderas who got reinvented as a bad-ass for Desperado and is probably still called El Mariachi by passers by to this day. Likewise Rodriguez also gave him a chance to do family movies with his Spy-Kids series. Jessica Alba also went from kinda hot to excessively so with her role in Sin City and is also getting her shot at kids movies with the new Spy-Kids.

Then of course there are the supporting actor favorites. Cheech Marin seems to show up in every single movie he makes either as a side character that gets shot (Desperado, Once Upon A Time), a family member (Machete, Spy-Kids series) or my personal favorite overuse From Dusk Till Dawn where Marin plays three separate characters. Joining this band are other actors like Danny Trejo who tends to wear a leather get up every time and has an obsession with blades. However his biggest credit to Trejo is giving him a starring role in Machete. After years of playing henchmen and being the Mexican that guy is was nice that Rodriguez gave his his due.

There's also one more noteworthy addition. Salma Hayek. For those of you who like fawning at her curvy glory you can thank Robert Rodriguez for sticking to his guns and casting her in Desperado. At the time the studio was anxious about the addition of an unknown female lead and wanted to bring someone else in for her role. Thankfully Rodriguez knew what he was doing and kept Hayek in the film. Hayek has since gone on to garner an Academy Award nomination and achieved success as a producer all thanks to her role in a film that cost 4 mill to make. Thanks Robert Rodriguez.

Gauntlet Review 207: Pirate Radio

2011-08-17T23:33:00.004-04:00

It's tough to imagine a time when rock music was a luxury rather than the established norm. Granted with today's mainstream radio pumping the same five pop songs every five hours between fast food and car commercials one could argue rock music on the radio still is luxury. I mean as popular as groups like the album of year winning Arcade Fire are I still have trouble finding a station that will play their albums. But truthfully when you compare how much rock music is out there and available through downloads, CDs, and vinyl (making a comeback apparently), to the early days there's really no comparison. Especially when it comes to the situation in this movie.

Our film takes place in 1966-67 in Great Britain where the BBC, the nation's only source for radio and music is refusing to play the rock n roll the kiddies want to hear. And with strict policies disallowing other stations to play rock in the country DJs and radio stations have taken to ships to broadcast signals in international waters. As luck would have it for our lead character James he has been put upon such a ship to live with his godfather and the cadre of crazy DJs.

Now I'll admit I wasn't as interested in this movies as other folks were but I heard good things and decided to check it out. It's a good thing I did because the film is undeniably entertaining. The characters are funny and believable and the cast is stacked with talent with everyone from established actors like Bill Nighy as James eccentric godfather, Kenneth Branaugh as our scene stealing villain, and familiar faces like Nick Frost (from Hot Fuzz fame) and Academy Award winner Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Thankfully the film decides not to play up any dramatic circumstances and decides instead to keep things lighthearted regardless of how bad the situation may seem. It's nice to have a comedy where the director doesn't feel obligated to create excessive drama. The driving force here is the rebellious nature of the DJs which plays in pretty well with James' self discovery. To be truthful our supposed lead is less interesting merely because he's a bystander. Stuff happens to him or around him. Rarely is he at the heart of the action. But the DJs make up for it.

The sequences where we just watch them work is a thing of beauty as classic rock songs play and we get to watch them get away with antics that would get you thrown in the jail in the States. It's an attitude that I wish was more prevalent in radio.

Now of course there will be some weaknesses such as inconsistencies in characterization, and an over reliance on excessively awkward situations for comedic effect. It would have also been nice to see a female character that was somewhat relatable. In addition, the ending leaves something to be desired and leaves a couple of unanswered questions.

But there's no denying it's a good time if you're in the mood. I could definitely watch this one more than once.

Gauntlet Review 206: Predators

2011-08-09T20:45:00.003-04:00

On the short list of the manliest movies ever made you will find a lot of late eighties action movies including Die Hard and of course Predator. While numerous attempts have been made to capture the magic of the first buddies, guns and sci-fi monster magic most of them have fallen short. Let's be honest going from Arnold against a Predator to Danny Glover in the future against one really isn't a step up. Thankfully we have a new attempt produced and written by Robert Rodriguez featuring more than one Predator and a bunch of hardened killers. And away we go.

Our story follows a number of soldiers, mercenaries, and killers that have all been parachuted into a jungle. As they continue to search for answers they find that while they might be some of deadliest people on earth they're about to encounter something much worse. Now the human killers must face off against the Predators in a battle for survival.

Now there are a lot of things this movie does correctly when it comes to the Predator mythos so I'll address those first. First thing, make it a team of people. A couple of people isn't a challenge to Predator. But a trained group might figure some stuff out.

Second, and our friend Yatzee at Zero Punctuation will appreciate this, it is addressed that human beings may have encountered these things before. I won't give away how that comes about but it's nice to see that there's some sense of continuity from the first movie. Also it was a good move to up the ante and make it more than one Predator. We humans already beat a lone out we're not going to worry too much if just one shows up.

There are a couple of minor complaints. Adrian Brody is doing his best to be bad-ass but he's just not capable of being as huge as Arnold was. Also it was nice to see the commandos in action in the first movie so you get an idea as to how deadly there are. This makes their futile attacks against the Predator most frightening. Some might also argue that the action isn't the most exciting but I would say for a small budget the movie does quite well with it's visuals.

But those are certainly minor. There's actually some characterization and there's actually a logical progression in the plot. Also the acting is better than you'd expect for a movie like this including a dynamite cameo role from Laurence Fishburn. I also thought this was a proper use of Topher Grace who has been misused in movies for years. And while the action isn't incredible its still enough to please fans of the original. It also shows us how you complete a sequel and make it more interesting. You don't need to change the setting of plot significantly just give us something new that makes sense. In this case a cadre of bad-ass from around the world. Oh and it's nice to see that we can actually get out hits in against Predators.

I'll admit it I watched this movie more than once and it's still plenty entertaining so if you liked the first one check it out.

Gauntlet Review 205: Major League

2011-08-08T09:45:00.003-04:00

With Charlie Sheen going off the rails on a crazy train in the past year I have noticed an influx of folks looking to see him play somewhat crazy people in movies. This can include side roles like Ferries Bueller or somewhat starring roles like Major League. And with the Indians actually maintaining a winning record somehow I figured why not feel a little inspired?

Our story follows the Cleveland Indians who have just been inherited by a former trophy wife. Not content to have a mediocre team in a less desirable location she aims to make the team so bad that she can move it to Miami. With an all too familiar sounding plot...cough cough Lebron....a ragtag group of players is put together including a catcher past his prime, a speedster, and the Wild Thing. Now with motivation to show that they belong the team looks to take the Pennant.

Now considering that this is an older movie some of this feels dated for a number of humorous reasons. First of all, the Indians became a competitive team for many years in the mid nineties and included a pretty definitive speedster named Kenny Lofton and a relief pitcher with giant glassses named Eric Plunk. Also modern baseball movies have a disadvantage in easy inspirational storytelling because the playoffs are so long. It used to be win the American league go to the World Series. Now you've got two playoff series before getting to the big show.

Not to say that this detracts from this movie's appeal. All of the leads are well cast and there's a surprising amount of acting talent on display for a comedy. Here we have Tom Berenger, Wesley Snipes, Charlie Sheen, Dennis Haysbert (President Palmer), Rene Russo, and Corbin Bensen all round out the cast and perform their roles quite admirably. However my personal favorite is Bob Uecker essentially playing a more ridiculous form of himself. They even used his signature line once or twice.

Also like any baseball comedy there's shenanigans on display such as a player that's into Voodoo, the catcher talking smack to the hitters, and a couple of inspiring montages. Oh and for Scrubs fans our favorite janitor Neil Flynn makes in an appearance as a construction worker who comments on the team.

Overall I couldn't find much to complain about except for the unnecessary love story. I don't know why in movies like this there's always a washed-up guy who squandered his talents and ended up without his girl. And now he's on a quest to get her back. That's why I liked the love story in Bull Durham more because it was part of the comedy and not some major rekindling brought about by an act of coincidence.

Overall it's a fun movie and if you're an Indians fan it'll be even better.

Oh and did I mention it's really funny to watch Charlie Sheen play anything but Charlie Sheen nowadays. Seriously go watch Platoon or Wall Street right now and try not to laugh your butt off. How am I supposed to take his drama seriously when he's convinced he's got Adonis DNA?

Gauntlet Review 204: Bull Durham

2011-08-07T00:52:00.003-04:00

In my time reviewing movies and as a general movie buff I have found that some newer films that are deemed classics often fall through the cracks due to disinterest or simply out of spite for people going hey this movie is great. This happens to be one of those movies. This movie seems to show up pretty much everytime someone makes a greatest sports movies or greatest baseball movies or greatest eighties comedies. Basically it's been on every other best of list I feel like I've seen recently. But sure enough curiosity got the better of me and I figured I check it out.

Our story follows three individuals all involved with Durham Bulls, a minor league baseball team. There's Calvin Laloosh, a young pitcher with a great arm but little to no brains and worse almost no control. There's Annie Savoy a local baseball enthusiast that picks one man on the team to be with her for the entire season. And finally there's Crash Davis, a journeyman catcher who has been in the minors for nearly his entire career. As chance would have it Crash has been brought in to calm LaLoosh down and ends up being in a running for Annie's affections with LaLoosh.

Now there were a couple of reasons that I enjoyed this movie and the first is that Kevin Costner is decent as our resident smart ass. Though dramatic roles may stretch his acting credentials a bit thin Costner shows us here that he's got a decent sense of comedic timing and can also play our everyman quite well. Twas a pleasant surprise. Tim Robbins is also hilarious as the young LaLoosh and plays his role with blissful ignorance. Though I would have to agree with the Cracked.com article that list him as an unconvincing pitcher due to his general demeanor and size. Susan Surandon is also reliable as ever in her southern belle demeanor.

The other major reason I enjoyed this movie is that it seemed to understand the mindset of ballplayers. Costner's inner monologue during his at bats felt a lot like mine and Robbins pitchers inner monologue was equally amusing. The writing here also fully embraced just how superstitious athletes are regardless of their ability level. I'll admit I wear the same shorts to pretty much every softball game because I feel like I field and hit well in them every time.

It was also nice to see a baseball related comedy that didn't have to involve over the top shenanigans. I liked Major League but some of the stuff that occurs is obviously ridiculous and would probably be discouraged in a big league clubhouse. Here it's a minor league club and it's still more toned down.

I think the only major weakness in the movie is the convoluted romantic story it aims to tell. With Surandon's character as our narrator we're kind of forced to get at least somewhat interested in the two men vying for her affections but at the same time you can't really imagine her ending up with Robbins character in the long run. Which is an ironic statement considering Robbins and Surandon were together for twenty years or so.

It's a simple movie with a simple premise. It's baseball romance movie that avoids the heavy sentiment and the two outs bottom of the ninth with a full count mentality that often plagues most sports comedies or sports stories for that matter. Here the story occurs and our characters change, each in different ways and we get to laugh along the way. It's a good time.

Gauntlet Review 203: Faster

2011-08-04T17:54:00.005-04:00

With more charisma than Arnold and his muscular physique, Dwayne Johnson formerly the Rock is someone who was made to be an action star. Sadly the past couple of years he spent his time fiddling around in subpar family comedies and Disney movies. Thankfully Johnson decided to muscle up and head back into the genre that made him a star with Faster and Fast Five this year. With Fast Five already given the "Freaking sweet and I love the Rock" movie award this year I aimed to find out how his earlier film was.

The story follows a guy known simply as the Driver (Dwayne Johnson). He's recently been released from prison and is aiming to take revenge on the people responsible for killing his brother. But as he continues on our anti-hero finds that he has other enemies including the cops hot on his trail and a young hitman. Soon the driver must decide just how much revenge is worth and if he's willing to muster the toll it will take on him.

Now since I'm actually lurking behind this movie waiting to barrage it with shuriken in the form of insults/complaints I will distract it by noting the only good qualities. One: this movie got the Rock back to action movies and shows his affinity for the genre. Two....ah forget this this movie was awful.

While revenge thrillers can be the best of fun when done correctly (i.e. Taken), when everything is done incorrectly it becomes a mess of a movie.

Failure #1: Not living up to the title. Sure there's a couple of ok car chases to this movie but previews promised me a no holds barred R-rated thrill ride. There's about one or two minor gunfights that end abruptly. One hand to hand combat sequence that lacks any sort of inventive spirit. And finally we get a couple of mediocre car chases. This would be a decent action movie if this was 1960 but it's not and that makes it boring. Hell there's not even a decent explosion during the entire thing.

Failure #2: Excessive focus on characters besides the lead. Here we get not one but two major distractions. First we have a washed up cop (Billy Bob Thorton) who is given far too much focus in the movie. He's the cop chasing the hero we don't need to see him hanging with his kid or see how messed up his life is. It's like if a Batman comic book spent a third of it's time on Alfred hosting a wine and cheese party acting surprised when hearing news of Batman. Oh and I'm sick of the whole cop who's estranged from his wife and kid. It's sooo played out.

The second character that was unnecessary was the hitman after the driver. They clearly wanted to develop his character a bunch but he's just so whiny and stupid that I have a hard time believing he's a hitman. Oh he had braces on his legs as a boy and that motivates him to be a better hitman? I'm sorry I thought this movie was about the Rock kicking ass and taking names not someone that looks like we was a werewolf in a Twilight movie.

This reverses the entire point of bringing in another hitman in this kind of movie. He's supposed to challenge the hero, not look like a whiny brat by comparison. We're not supposed to relate to them or know anything about them except that they kill at will and they're really good at it.

Of course the plot is crap too which isn't a surprise but you'd think the twist at the end wouldn't be able to be figured out from the previews alone. That and it shouldn't drag this much when it's barely an hour and forty minutes. With how much they build Johnson's character up they hardly use him and that's a travesty

This movie was truly a waste and unless you wanna have beers and make fun of it I'd avoid it.

Gauntlet Review 202: Jarhead

2011-08-03T07:51:00.004-04:00

While modern day Iraq War pictures have mostly been critically acclaimed but ignored by audiences Gulf War pictures have been a mixed bag and strangely not as common. Perhaps because the political implications of the modern Iraq war have inspired artists to take up the mantle but nevertheless the Gulf War is not one that should be ignored or forgotten. Enter Jardhead a movie following the tale of Marine sniper from basic training to his experience in the Gulf War. How does it measure up as a war movie? Let's find out.

Our protagonist is Anthony Swofford a young recruit who is ridiculed for his name and his apparent stupidity. Despite his misgivings in basic training and the physical abuse he sustains Swoff is sent to the suck and chosen by a sergeant to train as a sniper. Just as he's getting eager for action, Swofford is sent into action in the Gulf War. But the sniper's Gulf War experience quickly becomes less about non-stop combat and more about combating boredom.

Now right in our plot description we hit what most people deemed as the problem with this movie: the inactivity. For such a lavish budget, high production values, and a subject as potentially touchy as the Gulf War I guess a bunch of reviewers thought that the movie was going to be a spiritual sister to Three Kings. Now for those reviewers that also always go it isn't as good as the novel you should be reminded that this is based on the memoir of one Marine sniper so shut it! Blame the previewers if you must for their epic scope and use of Kanye West but even a single review read means you know it's about boredom.

And it does that exceptionally well. Jake Gyllenhaal plays our everyman sniper who transitions from slightly enchanted to scared but enthusiastic killing machine, to man on the verge of insanity. One thing that was nice to see is that while the military's policies may be critique it's never as overt as current war movies *cough* Green Zone *cough* The movie also does a great job of demonstrating what happens to men overseas and also what happens when take a killing machine and don't give him anything or anyone to kill. That's where it's true power is.

The supporting cast also helps round things out nicely with Jaime Foxx playing our commanding officer and Peter Sarsgaard playing Swoff's spotter. And truthfully Peter Sarsgaard needs some sort of lifetime achievement award for consistency in movies. Whether the classy art house pic or the even the dismal Green Lantern he is also seen as a high point.

That isn't to say this movie isn't flawed to some degree. There are some stock characters that don't fully make sense such as the gleefully ignorant redneck, the nerd, and the guy who's suspicious of the military and yet is still in the military. Also the slow nature of the actual story makes the plot drag from time to time.

Regardless this is a film rooted in expectations. If you expect your typical war film whether modern or old style go America you're going to be disappointed. But if you're looking for a good character study and something that more closely resembles the beginning of Full Metal Jacket check it out.

Gauntlet Review 201: Open Range

2011-08-01T23:22:00.003-04:00

Before the prototype action movies came around in the seventies the definitive American genre was the western. A like most genres it's seen it's fair share of reinventions over the years. Initially it was a place to put the good guys versus the bad guys with the good guys representing their version of morality and the bad guys presenting theirs. In the late sixties along came the spaghetti westerns featuring Clint Eastwood that offered morally questionable characters who were typically bounty hunters with hearts. So it only makes sense that the two would merge in later years in movies such as Open Range about a bad man looking to stand up for what's right.

Our story follows Boss Spearman (Robert Duvall) and Charley Waite (Kevin Costner) as two true cowboys taking their cattle across the country. However when a major storm kicks up the boys need to resupply they run into Denton Baxter, a powerful man that wants the cattle of his land and runs the town with an iron fist. All of this pulls the two men in for a violent confrontation that seems all too familiar for Charley.

Now considering this is a Kevin Costner project from writing to directing and acting you don't always know what to expect. However the western is a genre he seems to at least understand more than let's say sci-fi.....The language of the movie feels genuine even though it's an older style and the visuals show off the land appropriately. Costner has also done himself a favor by adding in strong supporting actors such as Duvall and Annette Benning.

Right about here though we have to hit the obligatory complaints. First of all, I know westerns are all built around the big showdown but the events leading up to it need to keep us interested. Sergio Leone would give us a couple of shootouts before the final quick draw and even the recent 3:10 to Yuma remake was ripe with exciting action scenes. And watching the final shootout it's clear that Costner actually understands how to make an effective western shootout. I was just aching for more.

The other major problems are Costner's acting, the villain, and the ending. Costner has been reviled by a number of reviewers and Family Guy for poor acting and I haven't always been certain it's been deserved. I will say that physically he seems to inhabit the role pretty well. He's clearly afraid of his past etc. However his emotional level in his voice seems the same in this movie as it was in The Untouchables.

The other two are petty complaints but still kind of funny. The villain is barely seen and I kinda wish he was around more so we can really get to hate him. But also, why in the hell is he Scottish or British or whatever that accent is? It seems horribly out of place when everyone else has the slight drawl going on. Likewise the ending pulls a Return of the King and refuses the end when it should.

But my complaints shouldn't be seen as deal breakers. If you're a fan of the genre this is more entertaining than most and the plot while somewhat slow does a decent job building the tension and the previously mentioned final shootout is one of the better western shootouts I've seen. So if you're in the mood for good guys versus bad guys in the old west you could do worse.

Gauntlet Review 200: I Love You Phillip Morris

2011-07-29T08:37:00.003-04:00

The black comedy is an interesting genre that is truly one of the most difficult to pull off. If the comedy is too dark you'll lose people's interest but if it doesn't go too far it won't seem that funny either. However successful black comedies have found the middle ground between the ridiculous and being just believable enough for us to say this could actually happen. Enter I Love You Phillip Morris, the movie based upon the story of a con man who falls in love with his cell mate starring the ever energetic Jim Carrey. So where does this black comedy fall? Let's find out

Our story follows Steven Jay Russell telling us his story from what appears to be his deathbed. He tells us the story of his humble origins in Virginia Beach and the events that lead to his eventually arrest. Though jail might seem like hell for some, Steven finds that it's his own little slice of heaven as he finds love in fellow inmate Phillip Morris. But when the two are separated Steven does all in his power to make sure they're together forever.

Now in a lot of my reviews I like to note when movies will make people feel uncomfortable. This movie has a number of moments that seem designed to do exactly that. While male love scenes are nothing new to cinema after ground has been broken by Brokeback Mountain and Milk in recent years this one makes them a little more graphic and then tries to make them funny at the same time. It's a bit of a stretch at times. So if merely the idea of two men together makes you uncomfortable you might wanna dodge this movie.

That being said there's a lot to love here. Jim Carrey is perfect cast as the well intentioned Steven and brings the comedic manic energy that the role needs. It's also great to see a role where his physical presence is utilized properly. Carrey has always been a physical comedian even when he did stand up so any movie that ignores that is a bit foolish. But here we get to see him jump off of things etc. I also liked that he narrates the movie in a sarcastic tone.

There are plenty of other things to like here such as Ewan McGregor who basically plays it like a southern belle but to see the guy who's played Obi Wan Kenobi play such a womanly man is pretty hilarious. Likewise, the soundtrack is utilized properly and when this movie is funny it's pretty hilarious.

The only thing that is a detriment to this movie is inconsistency. While there are plenty of laugh out loud moments there are seem to be periods where the plot development gets in the way of the comedy. In addition, the movie tends to shift dramatically between comedy and actual drama from time to time so it's a bit of a rollercoaster for the viewer. There should really be a rule for comedies that if you're going to have a down moment in the film at the beginning of the third act you need to make sure it's no so far down that any positive steps feel like they can't correct it. Judd Apatow's recent work is guilty of this as well.

But this movie is still plenty fun to watch. The R-rating is justly deserved but with a couple of exceptions the movie never feels like it's trying to earn it with excessive dirty material. The screen-writers also have a knack for some catchy lines and I hope they can develop more material like this. Likewise the interplay between Carrey and McGregor is both sweet and believable and is the true heart of the movie. Often times this movie seems to aspire to be like Raising Arizona and while it doesn't quite pull it off it does better than most would.

Gauntlet Review 199: The Crazies

2011-07-26T08:55:00.004-04:00

It's hard to get a decent horror movie nowadays. It seems that most studios either remake old classic horror movies, make another sequel, remake Asian horror flicks, or use the gore and girls that look eighteen ploy to get butts in the seats. Of course most of these are critically panned and owe most of their money making to their young audience that wants to see gruesome death. However, sometimes even a remake impresses some critics. Enter The Crazies, a remake of zombie guru George Romero's earlier film which features a town under siege from the government and it's own people. So does the movie have the chops? Let's find out.

Our story takes place in Ogden Marsh, Iowa, a small town that invests in its high school baseball team and each other. But when the season open is ruined by an emotionless man with a gun things start to take a turn for the worst. Now fighting to find out what's happening to the folks in his town and trying to get out alive the sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) his wife, and some friends begin a fight for survival.

Now I'll openly admit that the horror movie genre is one that I typically ignore so it should be noted as somewhat exceptional that I really enjoyed this one. Considering that most horror movies have the same flaws I'll note how this movie avoided them.

Flaw #1: Gratuitous gore and violence. While a zombie movie wouldn't be the same without some good old fashioned brain eating it seems that most modern horror movies merely want to bring vicious death on some teens while their blood that almost looks like motor oil. Unfortunately the circumstances of the movie rarely justify it and don't scare the audience. Here our director might have some gore shots but it's never gratuitous. For instance, when a "crazy" uses a pitchfork to start killing people he doesn't pull out their intestines for the world to see. He simply stabs one person and moves to the next with the blood dripping off his weapon.

Flaw #2: Weak acting/no characterization. Because studios are looking to make as much money as possible off of their gore-fests most of the actors are teens or twenty somethings looking to make it who's inexperience is obvious is nearly every scene. We also don't care about them because we know nothing about them. Not the case here since we have the reliable sheriff played by Timothy Olyphant (who has played this role enough times to do it in his sleep) and a nice supporting cast rounded out by Radha Mitchell as his wife. The props in characterization comes from how well this movie developed the personal paranoia of its group members and also the fact that there seemed to be multiple aspects to each person personality rather than scared or about to die.

Flaw #3: Meaningless plot. The reason horror filmmakers like Romero are so revered is because their movies actually tackle social issues. While many critics accused this movie of not being as deep as Romero's work it should be noted that this plot though reused is about ten times better than you'd expect from a horror remake. Here the horror comes from both the unsettling idea that your best friend might go crazy and kill you and the idea that the government will simply eradicate you for the good of the nation. Sure it's been done before but it's effective regardless.

Final Flaw #4: Weak action set pieces. I don't know what it is about horror movie fights but they always feel incredible forced and seem to be designed to set up a gruesome death. Here the fights feel more real since half of the time they're ended with a gun rather than someone being impaled on something.

This movie is of course not without it's faults but in terms of exciting and making you think a little bit you could do far worse than this.

Gauntlet Review 198: Captain America: The First Avenger

2011-07-23T01:13:00.003-04:00

In preparation for the upcoming Avengers movie Marvel has been littering the summer movie scene with a number of super hero flicks including Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and this summer's earlier release Thor. But now we have Captain America. While not always as famous as Batman or as obscure as Thor the real question is how to introduce a character that was born during World War II. The answer apparently is simple, make his introduction take place during World War II. And now we're off to see how this movie stacks up to other super hero fare.

Our story follows Steve Rogers, a puny man who wants nothing more than to serve his country and fight off the Nazi menace. However his physical shortcomings don't allow him to enlist until a German doctor working for the Army believes Steve will be the perfect candidate for a super soldier project. Which is mighty convenient considering that a Nazi scientist with aspirations of world domination has found a power source of terrible magnitude.

Now in terms of summer fare this covers most of the bases. It's got relatable characters, decent action/spectacle and enough humor to keep the tone relatively light. The acting is also a lot better than you'd necessarily expect from a super hero movie with a number of dynamite smaller roles pulled off by Tommy Lee Jones and Stanely Tucci in particular. However the real acting credits go to Chris Evans who proves himself worthy of the role both in stature and in acting chops. Though he has been known for more comedic roles Evans does a decent tightrope of demonstrating the bravery and naive nature of a teenage kid rather than the hulking man on-screen.

I will say that this movie is also a fanboys delight with a number of in references to other characters or perhaps even their fathers. And like any Marvel movie stay after for a little something extra.

Now as much as I enjoyed myself there are a couple of ways I believed the movie could have been better. First of all the ending. Without giving anything away I felt that the ending really cheapened the characters we had gotten to know throughout the film. Likewise there's a lot of unanswered questions for those of us just aching for the Avengers movie already. Also as much as action as there was I felt like it was as impressive as it could have been. Marvel action scenes in general need to drift more towards the Incredible Hulk where the final action scenes are both a showdown between hero and main villain and also visually stunning. Now of course they could be saving some of the wow factor for the Avengers but still one movie at a time.

But these complaints are minor. The movie looks great, the plot is simple and straight forward and the writers actually took time to characterize our hero and don't go action first character later. For those unfamiliar with the comics Captain America has usually been the team's leader. This movie will help prove why. Also if you don't see this you're unpatriotic and clearly don't love America.

Gauntlet Review 197: The Road

2011-07-21T20:59:00.003-04:00

As strange as it might seem apocalyptic wastelands seem to be the beginning of a great deal of action movies rather than high dramas. Considering how much we fear the end of the world you'd think we'd have better survival guides than guides on how to survive a zombie invasion. Enter Cormac McCarthy's gut wrenching novel "The Road", a Pulitzer winning work that witnessed the depths that humanity would have to bring itself to to survive and what we are capable of both good and bad. So now the task is to bring the book to life. Let's see how they did.

Our story follows the Man, played by Viggo Mortensen, and the boy, the man's son. A number of years removed from was is presumably a nuclear event of some kind. After years in isolation the Man and the boy now attempt to move south in the hope of finding someplace with life. Along the way they try to avoid all possible threats to their lives, attempt to maintain their own humanity, and find food to keep themselves alive.

Now word to the wise this movie is not for the squeamish. Are there horrible images to be seen? Yes but nothing excessively graphic. What is probably more frightening is is the moral tale where people are willing to do horrible things to each other to survive. Humanity is fighting for survival in a great number of ways here. And it's certainly not the fun stay at the mall minus the zombies. Everything here is dead and feels dead. There are no animals, no plants, and barely any humans. And many that are alive aren't the friendly kind.

That's not to say the movie isn't well done because it is. Viggo Mortensen is perfectly cast as the protective father that makes it abundantly clear he will do anything to keep his son alive and prevent him from suffering. Likewise Charlize Theron makes the most of her smaller part as the boy's mother and Robert Duvall puts in a small bit part as well. However tons of accolades should be showered upon Kodi Smith-McPhee for his honest portrayal as the Boy. It seems like a simple part but it should be noted that he is a child that has grown up in this hell and only knows what his father has taught him. He also remains the moral compass for the movie so he's got to have some presence.

I will say that this is one of the few movies that will make you ask questions about yourself in a realistic fashion. Maybe in a zombie movie you wonder how would you handle the zombie hordes. Here you wonder if you would turn to stealing from your fellow man and possibly killing a loved one to protect them from further horrors. It's pretty rough.

For most this won't be your type of movie but in terms of a study in humanity and morality it's pretty good stuff. Once again I will emphasize how dark this movie is but it also offers glimmers of hope. Strong performances and realistic portrayal of humanity scraping by after the nuclear winter make this a movie to check out but certainly not one to watch over and over again.

Gauntlet Review 196: Hot Rod

2011-07-19T21:02:00.003-04:00

While SNL is sadly no longer as consistent as it once was in its late 80s-late 90s heydays, recently the portion of the show devoted to digital shorts had given fame and fortune to the group known as the Lonely Island. Headed by cast member Andy Sanberg, the group has come up with some of the more hilarious comedy songs of the last five years including "D*** In A Box", "Mother Lover", "I'm On A Boat", and "I Just Had Sex". However apparently most folks seem oblivious to the fact that they gang wrote a movie in 2007. I certainly wasn't aware that the Lonely Island wrote it so I figured I'd give it a shot.

Our story follows Rod Kimble a stunt man with aspirations for greatness that aren't matched by his actual stunts which all seem to end in failure. To add to his frustration, he also seems unable to earn his stepdad's respect by beating him in a fight. But when his step-dad needs a heart transplant Kimble sees a way to do both by raising money for a monster stunt to keep the bitter old man alive.

Now as far as comedies go I think they're tend to be about four unofficial categories. We have the plot driven comedies or classy comedies that deal with real situations. We have comedies with elements of drama and comedy. We have dark comedies. And then we have the there's no way this should be taken seriously comedy. Hot Rod falls into that category. So how do you judge a movie like this? How funny it is of course.

Now I'll say that the sense of humor was right up my alley. A deeply flawed and ridiculous lead character, plenty of references to 80s movies including a complete mockery of the most ridiculous scene from Footloose. Sanberg was also smart enough to help stack the cast with quality comedy actors like Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Ilsa Fisher, Will Arnett, Chris Parnell, and a number of others. Now some jokes admittedly go on a bit too long but half the time I kept laughing anyway.

I also like the fact that this movie didn't feel a need to pad it's run time with unnecessary conflict and avoided seriousness with ridiculous amounts of fake melodrama. A good sense of physical comedy helps too.

However the best part of this movie is Ian McShane. Bringing his typical growling vocie and aggressive demeanor McShane is a perfect hard-ass step dad that constantly taunts his step-son. I mean he's clearly slumming it here but I enjoyed him sooo much more in this movie than the last Pirates movie. Oh and Sissy Spacek plays his mom What?

Overall I enjoyed this short and sweet comedy. Sure it's kind of uneven and not as joyfully profane as the Lonely Island's other material but it's a decent way to spend 80 minutes.

Gauntlet Review 195: Last Man Standing

2011-07-18T00:17:00.004-04:00

Anyone even moderately familiar with Hollywood can tell you that the American movie machine loves sequels and remakes. However a must less publicized thing Hollywood likes to do is to take material from foreign movies and make it their own. In this case we have Japanese filmmaker Akira Kurosawa's wandering samurai tale "Yojimbo" being told in the prohibition American West. A bold move to be sure considering the classic nature of Kurosawa's film let alone the fact that its also the basis for "Fistful of Dollars" the western that brought Clint Eastwood to the forefront and served as a breakthrough for Segio Leone. But hey it's Bruce Willis in action mode so I figured I'd give it a shot.

So as mentioned it's prohibition era America in the west. Our hero fails to identify himself but it's made pretty clear that he's a fugitive of sorts and probably shouldn't be trifled with. What our nameless hero finds in this small town are two rival gangs the Irish and Italians who have driven out nearly every other inhabitant in a gang war for booze supremacy. Seeing an opportunity to make a buck or two our hero decides to play the gangs against each other to his benefit.

Now considering how much this movie had to live up to it shouldn't come as a surprise that it was a let down so first I'll focus on the good parts. Bruce Willis does a great job of being Bruce Willis and Christopher Walken brings in possibly the best performance as the homicidal brother of the lead Irish gangster. What gunplay there is plays out pretty well and we even get to see Leslie Mann (of Apatow movie fame) in a cameo role as a loud mouthed prostitute.

But here we hit hiccups. As much as I love gunplay of any kind this movie felt lacking in the action category. There are about two decent shootouts and the rest are just one group of people shooting up another group of people. On a random sidenote I think that this movie featured the farthest I've seen someone fly after being shot with a pistol. Here it looks like they were hit with fifty calibur machine gun or a massive shotgun at close range. I thought it was quite strange. Also the final showdown is a bit of a let down considering how much it was built up.

However this isn't a full deal breaker if you have other elements to draw you in. But sadly Hill doesn't seem to understand that Kurosawa and Leone brought dark humor to the story rather than melodrama and the voice over narration while fun fails to give the audience any doubts about the lead's motivation which is always more intriguing in the a story like this. In "Yojimbo" or "Fistful of Dollars" it is pretty unclear just how scrupulous the lead is until about three quarters through the movie. Here we're told at the beginning that he's a good guy deep down.

Other elements that don't help are the fact that no one else besides Walken or Willis are even bothering too try acting in this movie, pacing that resembles rush hour traffic, and pitiful attempts at comedy.

Oh and just for a point of clarification you can have a town feel empty but it being empty is something else entirely. I wasn't even clear where people got food in town since there only seemed to be four inhabitants in the entire place that weren't crooks.

Bored I want something different.

In the end there's just way too much good material wasted here on a typical Hollywood remake that takes away the soul. Kurosawa has been the basis for a number of classic American films and its a shame this movie couldn't follow in it's footsteps.

Gauntlet Review 194: Ip Man 2

2011-07-16T23:10:00.005-04:00

So it case I haven't stated it before, martial arts movies are a pet genre of mine. Are for those of you going I loved Rush Hour I say shut up I mean real martial arts movies. Movies where the plot just needs to be reasonably fun and the main character needs to be charismatic enough to get us by until the kick-ass fight scenes. One of the major stars of the genre is Donnie Yen who has garnered more attention than usual in the states for his starring role in Ip Man a movie based upon a martial arts master who trained Bruce Lee. And of course like any successful film we gotta have a sequel. So how does the sequel compare to the first one? Some dude at Wal-Mart told my friend it didn't measure up. We sought to find out.

So it's a couple of years after Ip Man won a symbolic victory for China by punching a bunch of Japanese dudes in the face about five hundred times in a ten second span. Now he's all healed up from his gunshot wound and looking to start up his martial arts school. But of course starting a school leads to a lot of trouble including rival schools that pay dues to a particularly mean British officer. Soon the peaceful Ip Man is brought into the conflict to fight for the honor of China and all of its martial artists.

Now before I get to the ridiculous realization that I had with my friend I will say that this movie does a lot of things right that many kung fu films do not. First of all there's no delay in getting to the action. The first movie was sweet yes but the real fights took a decent period of time to get to and the middle dragged considerably. Here the plot is streamlined and gets to the fighting right away. Always a good choice.

Secondly the plot makes way more sense. Honestly the first movie felt like a combination of two common kung fu films that were sparsely held together. Here we have common kung fu themes of British oppression and rival masters but I liked how the masters turn out not to be complete jerks and the British oppression is mainly a couple of guys overstepping their bounds rather than the Queen's Royal Navy showing up to kill one man.

The fighting is of course still impressive and manages to produce enough "oh snap" moments to fill two average Hollywood blockbusters. The sheer speed of some of these fights is ridiculous. Other side elements that helped such as the addition of the great Sammo Hung who apaprently came off of heart surgery to do fight choreography and star in this movie, a final fight that actually seems to challenge our hero, and an opponent so unlikable he belongs in an eighties movie.

And now we get to the more hilarious point of the review *warning potential plot spoilers ahead*. Ip Man 2 is essentially the Hong Kong version of Rocky IV. While not obvious at first in the second half of the movie the similarities started to stack up. First the loss of mentor against a seemingly unstoppable and excessively strong opponent. Also make him arrogant unfeeling and eager for more of the same. Also make him represent a foreign country you've been in conflict with. Oh by the way he's a freaking boxer named Twister. Main hero comes in to avenge the mentor and prove his country's worth. Hero wins a close match despite insurmountable odds and gives a speech about how the two groups should all just appreciate each other and get along.

Note this shouldn't be viewed as a complaint. In fact I liked the throw back plot and potential homage. But just don't be surprised if you feel like you've seen this before. In conclusion, Ip Man 2 is stronger than the first and features more fists of fury than before and gives you a Rocky type storyline. What's not to like? Aside from potential CGI-ed backgrounds. Seriously some of those looked like screen savers.

Gauntlet Review 193: Unknown

2011-07-15T09:32:00.003-04:00

A couple of years ago if someone had mentioned who Liam Neeson was most people would have one of three reactions. They would remember his as the enigmatic Oscar Schindler from Spielberg's seminal work. They wouldn't know who you were talking about until you mention Qi Gon Jin or however you spell it I can't be bothered to care at this point. And finally, they may stare at you blankly until they watch a movie like Batman Begins and ask I've seen that guy what has he been in. Luckily for audiences everywhere Liam Neeson decided to give the finger to his career of almost nothing but classy roles and made Taken. A violent revenge thriller that channeled the glory days of Luc Besson Neeson has since become more of a household name and deemed a viable action hero. So now we have Unknown a movie that looks to capitalize on the same tone of Taken in everything but name.

Our story follows Martin Harris, a doctor with his inexplicably younger and sexy wife on a trip to come to some conference of sorts regarding plants. However, he gets into a car crash and ends up in a coma for a number of days. Wanting to rush back to his life Martin finds that he has been replaced in his own life with someone who somehow knows everything about him. Now a bit mad and looking for answers Martin must team up with the taxi driver that put him in a coma (Diane Kruger) and find the answers he seeks.

Now before I get into ranting about how this movie disappointed me I'll get the nice stuff out of the way. Action set pieces: pretty solid. Acting: once again solid I mean it is Liam Neeson. Plot: intriguing enough to keep me interested throughout the run time. But now we hit the problems for this film.

First of all for a movie that was practically touted as Taken 2 there are not enough action sequences to justify it. The first action sequence gets going about forty to fifty minutes in and because our character is an everyman the fighting is really boring. Two skilled combatants fighting one another or two unskilled opponents just wailing on each other is quite fun but one skilled villain versus an unskilled hero just makes it seem like the hero uses cheat codes if he wins. It's been a persistent complaint of mine that most thrillers don't like to come out and say they're thrillers for fear of angering the folks who loved Transformers 2 and instead fill up their previews with every action sequence. And such is the case here.

The second complaint is the stiff acting of January Jones. After I slammed her acting in X-Men first class and saw that others hadn't I wondered if I had missed some characterization choice and decided to take away my harsh judgement for the time being. However, this confirmed my suspicions that Jones seems cold distant and incapable of displaying any complex emotions. It also doesn't help when you're put opposite of Liam Neeson giving his all.

Finally, we have the plot. Without giving too much away I will say the following things. One: this plot has been done before and even used a piece of dialogue from one of my favorite underappreciated 90s action movies (It was written by Shane Black so that helps). Two: the key to a good plot twist are subtle clues throughout the film as to what's ahead or enough jerks in one way or another that by the time they do drop the bombshell you're aching to know the answer. Here there's no real chance of figuring out what's going on unless you somehow follow the writers conspiracy theory type logic.

Now with all my complaints I can't say I hated this movie. In fact, there were a number of sections I rather enjoyed, however it's replay value is practically non-existent. Put this one in the maybe rent and if you can get it from your public library.

Gauntlet Review 192: Bad Boys Retrospective

2011-07-10T09:37:00.002-04:00

I think it goes without saying that most critics downright hate Michael Bay movies for the most part. To them, he represents the style over substance problem that plagues current Hollywood releases and as South Park noted seems to confuse action sequences with a plot. So when I realized that I actually own two Michael Bay movies including the second Bad Boys I thought I would go to the first one and see why he became a popular director in the first place. Also I wanted to watch Bad Boys I and II back to back.

So our first movie came out in 95 and features a younger Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as two narcotics cops who need to find who took their career bust. Misadventure happens and now its up to the two cops to find the drugs and keep a pretty witness safe. So the first mistake I made was watching this movie second since I saw Bad Boys II all by itself without any context. I say this meaning that the action sequences are pretty generic and could be in any subpar 90s action movie. And unfortunately that's all this movie could have going for it.

Despite my distaste for most of his films Micahel Bay films will generally please the eye but his biggest problem is that he keeps trying to make things comedic. And how does he try to do this? Ugly stereotypes and awkwardness. A lot of people thought some of the robots in Transformers 2 were a bit racist against black folks. I completely agreed. You can say hey it's not a racial thing it's a robot for crying out loud. Yes but if a robot say spoke with a British accent and was pretentious you'd think it was representative of a British person yes? The problem in the first movie is that it's supposed to be a case of mistaken identity that wouldn't hold up even for a split second in the real world. That and the dialogue is atrocious. Sadly I cannot recommend the first one even as action scenes are concerned. That puts it dead in the water.

The second one at least has some decent action sequences. This time it's the same guys looking to take down a major extacy dealer and really why am I even telling you the plot there is none. We came here for action sequences. In typical Michael Bay fashion they're destructive and not necessarily inventive and feature about seven explosions that don't make sense, but it you want wanton destruction hey it works.

Dumping cars off a giant truck on the highway? Ok that's pretty cool. Destroying a drug shanty town. Yeah sure I'm in. That and I'll admit I like hearing Will Smith cuss up a storm. Anything that will make him seem a little edgier is cool by me. But once again we've got a problem. The bad comedy is of course dragging the movie down considerably. In fact, the only funny scene in the whole movie was improvised by Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Though many could argue that many of the action scenes are hilarious in terms of excess.

But now we've hit the big budget Michael Bay problem. Run time. I don't know who didn't get the memo but it should always be noted that two hours and thirty minutes is a long time in the theater. And if you're going to do that you better be good at characterization and give us a multi-teared film, which Bay never does.....so why are his movies so long? Honestly if he just cut out half of his films' dialogue and attempts at comedy and just got to the point he could have the run time down to about an hour and forty minutes. But instead he tries to create tension and rehash the same thing he did twenty minutes ago after the last action sequence ended.

After watching the two Bad Boys films I will say this. Michael Bay needs to decide whether to make movies like Shoot'Em Up which are lean mean ridiculous action machines that are over in ninety minutes and KNOW they're ridiculous. Or he needs to hunker down and get some writers that can justify his run time so he can be a counterpart to Christopher Nolan (his films always run long but you don't complain). But what are you gonna do? People keep going to see Transformers in droves so it looks like me calls for help with go unanswered......still can't believe I put myself through seeing the second one.

Gauntlet Review 191: Kung Fu Panda 2

2011-06-08T09:52:00.005-04:00

Animated movies these days seem to have a pretty simple format. Generally funny premise that appeals to both kids and adults, big voice talent, mix with slapstick and humor and you've got yourself a relative hit at the very least. Every now and then though you get one that exceeds expectations and that's what Kung Fu Panda was for me. The first film was filmed with exciting action sequences and featured a prime voice cast even throwing in Jackie Chan as an homage to martial arts film. So of course I had to see the second one.

Our story once again follows, Po the big lovable Jack Black as a Panda who is fresh off of his victory in the first film. However it seems that a villain has created a weapon that could mean the end of the kung fu warriors and its up to Po and the furious five to stop it. But things aren't always what they seem and Po's simple mission becomes a mission of self discovery and search for inner peace.

First off, this movie looks phenomenal. I saw it in 3-D just cause I wanted my lady to see at least one 3-D movie and it was a pretty good application of the technology. Probably the most impressive piece was a point of view shot during a chase scene that made me feel like I was in the chase. I think if 3-D is going to be used in gaming etc. in the future that's the best way. Oh and a baby animated panda might be the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

The voice acting is also still up to snuff with Gary Oldman in the bad guy role as he should be and Michelle Yeoh providing us with kung fu sagedom this time around (making her the second proper tribute to martial arts film stars). They also made more of the furious five. In the first film it seemed like their role was mainly to make fun of Po and provide contrast but here they work with him and I really enjoy the dynamic. This goes doubly for our Angelina Jolie voiced Tiger who was just a straight up hater in the first movie.

The action set pieces are also still up to snuff and this time decide to bigger and badder with more enemies and the like. Seeing the five actually fight a bunch of dudes like the 2-D animated in the opening of the first movie was quite a sight. They also remember that this is a kids movie and remember to pepper in the jokes during the fight scenes.

And finally we have the core of the story which is all about finding out who you are. I'll be honest it was a lot darker and deeper than I expected but that doesn't make it ineffective in the least. Besides as much as I liked the running joke they really needed to explain why a Panda was being raised by a duck. The only thing I didn't like about it is that it made Po incompetent again. That was the whole point of the first film to give him confidence now and identity crisis and he can't fight? Doesn't make sense.

Overall the sequel keeps the formula and keeps the laughs and action coming so of course I'm plenty happy. From what I've seen this might be the best sequel so far this summer.

Gauntlet Review 190: X-Men First Class

2011-06-06T15:00:00.003-04:00

As I've already indicated this is a comic book fan's ideal summer. Four major super hero flicks out including Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America, and one of the series the help sparked the genre X-men. Instead of going Wolverine crazy our studio decided to show us how Magneto and Prof. X's friendship came to be. And with Kick-Ass director Matthew Vaughn at the helm. My hopes for this film are quite high.

Our story follows the two leads Charles and Erik in separate worlds on separate sides of the globe. Erik is searching for mutant named Sebastian Shaw for a personal vendetta while Charles looks to help his fellow mutants including his adopted sister, Raven (the future Mystique for those playing at home). However when it becomes clear that Shaw is aiming to start thermonuclear war with the aid of his own personal array of mutants Charles and Erik must join forces in order to stop worldwide war.

Ok since this review is going to basically say all the other summer movies should aspire to be this good I'll get the flaws out of the way. The other major weakness I found in the film was a number of the female leads. January Jones is playing the incredibly seductive Emma Frost and somehow comes across as boring. I'm not sure if she was trying to convey nonchalance but for her it was like she presumed that her outfits would compensate for her acting.

Now in terms of acting the trophy here goes to Michael Fassbender who made a name for himself for his role in Inglourious Basterds and perfectly blends the charisma and malice that is a requirement to play Magneto. The last guy to play the role played Richard III properly so that gives you the right idea. On the other hand James McAvoy excels in the role of Charles Xavier and poses a great physical and verbal contrast to Fassbender.

However the thing that this movie understands more than a lot of the other material is the effects the two men have had on each other. Considering how they are portrayed it is easy to see how each of these men are great leaders and how their friendship actually makes them stronger.

Now this being a summer movie me going on to gush about how well everything was characterized and how many but he just moments there are in the film I'll move on to the real reasons we're here. We wanna see mutants fight. We want awesome bad guys and heroes. And we want something extra to take away from it. Well for something extra we have a dynamite cameo which I wont reveal but i can say with confidence it'll make you fall over in your seat.

The mutant fights are also pretty spectacular and actually capture the group fighting that occurs in the books. So many of the other movies have made all of the fights a one on one battle when the appeal of the X-men is that they are a team. Likewise if the bad guys have a team of guys they should be pretty awesome and not taken out by a bolt of lightening. Matthew Vaughn understands this and puts together a number of impressive action sequences including the Hellfire Club's raid of an army base.

Which brings us to Kevin Bacon playing Sebastian Shaw? After being somewhat off the radar for a bit Bacon also brings the malice laced with charisma that is needed to pull of Shaw and I was quite impressed with how they demonstrated his power. Oh and forget everyone else in the Hellfire club Azazel is the man.

Now the kids playing the first X-men weren't too noteworthy but their fights and abilities were put on film quite well and it was great to see them function as a unit. Oh and thank goodness they finally made Xavier seem useful in a combat situation they haven't done that almost at all in most of the films and it's about time.

This movie had everything that a summer blockbuster needs combined with enough in jokes and material to please fans of the series, and strong characterization. The gauntlet has been thrown. Other movies might make more money but this is the best movie I've seen this summer.

Gauntlet Review 189: Pirates 4

2011-06-01T22:32:00.004-04:00

Looking back it's hard to think of a time when Pirates of the Caribbean wasn't in our repetoire and Johnny Depp was just that brooding weird guy that only did Tim Burton movies. Nearly a decade and three sequels later we've cut the young stars and now it's Jack on his lonesome in search of the Fountain of Youth. Now to be honest after the third sequel failed to resonate for me because of its misuse of Chow Yun Fat I had given up on the Pirates franchise so I didn't have high expectations going in. But could this movie somehow exceed them?

Our story follows Jack shortly after a failed attempt to get to the new world and subsequently the Fountain of Youth he runs amock of the King of England who now has Captain Barbossa in his stead. Not looking to turn respectable Jack makes a run for it and bumps into a love interest and soon finds himself in with Blackbeard, the British Navy and the Spanish in a race for the fountain.

Honestly this is a movie where I wish there was more to impress me but it truly didn't seem like it. The first problem is that much of the film feels borrowed or like a half-assed attempt to recreate the first movie. Sword fight in the rafters check. Jack taken hostage and a daring escape check. A little cove for our prize? check. I was honestly in a perpetual state of deja vu while I watched this. Sadly it doesn't feel as crisp of as fast as it has previously. Depp may still be endearing but I'm not entirely sure he's as up to snuff for action as he was eight years ago. In fact I think Penelope Cruz is the only major character under forty in this movie.

The second glaring problem are a number of pointless plot elements. The first being a relationship between a crewman and a captured mermaid. While all you truly needed was about five seconds to explain the relationship they keep coming back to it as if we really care about these people that we just met. I certainly didn't and my lovely girlfriend didn't either. In addition Barbossa's involvement in the movie seems a bit contrived and they seemed to age the character waaay more than necessary.

Finally, this movie suffers from the same problem the second two pirates movies did. The producers are totally in love with their effects teams. In the first movie they were sometimes skeletons but for a majority of the time our villains were just pirates vicious pirates. It also helped that the script was clever and not a rehash of old jokes. But the second movie went effect and action sequence crazy without the same carms of the original and half of the characters were CGI. And finally in the third movie they went off the deep end and had more of the same minus the Cracken.

Sadly this movie tries to capture the charm of the first movie while recreating frame by frame and adding in more effects. Here less is more and flesh and blood action is almost always more exciting because we CAN SEE OURSELVES BEING PIRATES. That's why we liked the first one because afterwards you're like hey being a pirate that looks fun not holy crap those mermaids were creepy huh? Oh and any movie that doesn't fully utilize the bad-ass presence that is Ian McShane is downright shameful to me. I won't give away why it's upsetting but let's just say for the most fearsome pirate ever he sure seems to cheat in his fights.

Gauntlet 188: Thor

2011-05-31T14:45:00.004-04:00

Well the summer movie season is officially underway. With the number of sequels and super hero flicks piling up this summer is looking to be epic. And speaking of epic we have Marvel's first entry this summer Thor. Despite not being in control of their biggest properties (Spiderman & X-men), Marvel studios has put together an unexpected box office run with successful films including the Iron Man films, the Incredible Hulk and have now begun filming for the Avengers. So with a lot of expectations to live up to how does Thor measure up.

Our story takes place in Thor's world where his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) hopes that his son Thor (Chris Hemsworth) will become the future ruler of Asgard. But after Thor's arrogance threatens to destroy a centuries long peace Thor must prove himself worthy of his power in another realm Earth.

While there have been complaints about pacing or putting too much of the movie is Asgard, this mild fan boy can tell you that the screen-writers and director Kenneth Branagh pulled off a difficult feat by making Thor's origin seem new. Every other superhero begins with some sort of discovery or tragedy that gives them their power. In fact that's how it is in the books. But here our hero has always been powerful the key is being worthy of it. That being said every super hero movie that believe itself to be the first one in a series of movies or even a lead in is going to have unanswered questions and Thor's got a ton but with the Avengers coming up I can't imagine they wouldn't resolve most of it.

The budget is also used to its fullest with the lush visuals from Asgard brimming with color or Thor's fights against giant CGI creatures. I was also pleased to see that Thor's fighting style remained intact and involved a whole lot of hammer twirling. That being said critiques about the second act lacking the strength of the first in terms of action scenes is accurate. The biggest problem you have is that Thor is a lot like the Hulk in that you either need him fighting about twelve things or something/someone just as powerful as he is. Most of his final opponents pale in comparison.

But making up for any weaknesses in the script we have the cast who all excel at their parts amicably. Aussie Chris Hemsworth brings the physique and the adolescent arrogance, Anothony Hopkins brings charisma, Natatlie Portman fawns over Thor and Katt Dennings brings the jokes. Even side parts Heimdall played by Idris Elba are exceedingly memorable.

The final aspect of this movie that I will say helped it excessively was its sense of humor. Recognizing that many aspects of the character are ridiculous as well as the tone of the previous marvel films the film features much more humor than I expected and takes advantage of Thor's fish out of water situation. This also bodes well for The Avengers since it would be difficult to merge an overly serious character with the sarcastic Iron Man.

Overall this movie has the goods for a summer movie, thrilling action, great special effects, humor, and promise of more to come. Some may have complained they wanted more but I'd rather leave wanting more than feeling like i had too much (something Pirates 4) could have learned.

P.S. Marvel nerds look for a very special cameo and stay after the credits per usual.

Gauntlet Review 187: The Green Hornet

2011-05-10T13:55:00.002-04:00

The Green Hornet is an interesting case in regards to masked heroes. While the lead character and especially Kato is recognized not too much else is known about the character's motivations. Superman and Batman have years worth of publications to their name while anything with the Green Hornet hasn't really been publicized. Granted I was still interested to see this movie to see if Seth Rogen could transition into full leading man status and to see Kato beat people up. So I picked this up from the library.

Our story follows Britt Reid, a spoiled son of a newspaper mogul that dies unexpectedly. Mad at his father and the worship that he receives even in death Reid finds solace with his newfound friend Kato, his father's mechanic. When a night a vandalism leads them to foil and would be mugging, Kato and Reid agree to take on crime from the inside using secret identities. This puts them right on a collision course with Chudnofsky, the local crime boss that runs all of the gangs in L.A. who is eager to reaffirm control of his city.

Now right away I can say that this movie is excessively uneven. Though Rogen is certainly capable of pulling off a movie like this you can tell that the script is desperately trying to maintain the usual humor of Rogen's movie while maintaining the PG-13 rating. I even like this sense of humor and it was still a bit much for me. Imagine Pineapple Express through a filter and you get the idea.

It also doesn't help that Reid's character is pretty much unlikeable. He's arrogant and stupid and so incompetent that it's hard to feel sympathy for him period, which is troubling for a lead character. Jay Chou's Kato is a bit more sympathetic and he does nail most of his jokes quite well.

That being said this movie does have some moments/things worth savoring. A nice cameo from James Franco is pretty hilarious and Christoph Waltz is hilarious as the lead criminal trying to be seen as scary and taken seriously. Also the action scenes are well shot except some of Kato's fight scenes are hard to follow. Overall I would put this in the rent but not buy category. Ok maybe redbox it so you don't get mad at me.

Gauntlet Review 186: Fast Five

2011-05-10T13:35:00.003-04:00

Over the years I have to say I've learned to trust my instincts about movies through a combination of previews and reviews. Therefore it is interesting how my interest in Fast Five changed from when i first heard about it to when I saw the previews and when the reviews came in. At first I was cursing the existence of the series for producing four worthless films. Then I saw the previews and it looked kinda fun, maybe not to pay for but still fun. And then the reviews came in saying that it was brainless but fun. So sold I was I embarked to the cinema to see this ridiculous movie.

So apparently fresh off breaking Dominic Toretto out of prison former cop Brian and his lovely lady Mia head in to Rio and take up a job with an old friend. Of course Dom shows up and the job goes south which leads special agent Luke Hobbs on their trail as well as a crime boss that apparently runs the whole city of Rio. Now it's up to Dom and Brian to put together a giant heist to put the crime boss out of business all the while avoiding Hobbs.

Now before I can start celebrating the action in this movie like a small child would a new action figure let's get the critiques out of the way. First of all the acting is pretty bad. Dwayne Johnson is clearly the only one even trying here and everyone else is saying everything as blandly or as a melodramatic as possible. Also I don't know why I'm supposed to care about half of these characters that show up halfway through. Maybe it's because I've avoided the other movies in the series after seeing the first one. Still it gets confusing sometimes.

That being said this is brainless action at it's best. We've got chase scenes galore, on foot and in cars. Fight scenes too including one the best retro eighties style fight scenes between the Rock and Vin Disel where walls are broken like paper. I'll admit I'm not the biggest car chase guy but the final fifteen minutes of this movie features one of the best chases I've ever seen and the wanton destruction somehow made me very happy.

Truthfully the real fun for me was seeing the Rock and yes I'm calling him by his wrestler name because it suits the persona of his character. I honestly hope they make a movie out of his character because he nails every single one of his lines and is back into full muscle man mode. For instance at one point he stares down Vin Disel almost daring him to pick a fight with fifty guns pointed at his head. That's just awesome.

If you're an action fan this movie has all you could want in terms of brainless fun and even the extended runtime seems justified for the final action scenes. So in a move I didn't expect I shall recommend this movie whole heartedly merely for that.